A Tale of Two Worlds
by Aeronous
Summary: Life for Kagome is changing. She believes the years have blotted out her memories of the past in the Warring States era and have finally allowed her a chance at a normal life. But why can she still sense the Shikon shards?
1. Prologue: No Matter What

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha will always belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

_Prologue _

_**No Matter What**_

I stood out there beyond the threshold of the inauspicious forest, eyes expectant, hoping never to be seen. Inuyasha was out "there" fighting to save the lives of his comrades, fighting courageously out of overpowering thirst for redemption.

Fighting for his beloved, Kikyo. 

I started hoping a long time ago that he would stop, but he didn't. And now Naraku stood before him with a sadistic smirk curled on his lips and slimy, brown tentacles rupturing out from random places all over his body. His baboon pelt was torn to shreds by _Tetsusaiga's_ mighty fang, and the sword still stood present within Inuyasha's whorled fingers, which were mottled with blood. It trickled down his deathly pale face and I knew right then that he was suffering. 

He's about to die, I admitted fretfully to myself once Miroku rushed to intervene the bloody skirmish, finishing off the rest of Naraku's lethal bees with a loud and utterly foolish war cry, "KAZAANA!"

As I continued to watch, the _Saimyoushou_ were quickly wolfed down by the profound vortex in a cyclone of air and darkness. The buzzing soon ceased and the sonorous ruckus inside my head died along with it. There was nothing for me now except to keep on watching hopefully.

Kikyo was the one who said that I was a young priestess incapable of possessing power that even dared to border on the vigor of her own sacred power. I was a weakling and dourly believed her. After all, Inuyasha loved her. He would do anything for her. Even though he's rescued me so many times, sobbed for the first time when he thought that I was about die, and hugged me tighter than anyone else ever has, I still felt his energy roll off of him in a miasma of smoldering passion for…Kikyo, not me.

I bowed my head and listened to the noises of chaos overpowering the area.

"Damn you, Naraku!" I heard Inuyasha shout. His sword seemed to chime like a corrupted song beyond the cacophony of turmoil. It was out of control, slashing madly with the unearthly speed of—a demon?—yes, a demon. It shook with the sound of a recently plucked guitar string, still going on until it met its goal, which was to kill Naraku and chop him up into tiny, miniscule pieces. 

"**Hiraikotsu**!" Kirara swooshed past me in a flourish of embers and white fur. Sango was on top of her, her giant boomerang poised for attack. She flung it hard, giving way to so much power that I almost believed I was staring at another demon basically thirsting for blood and pointless wreckage.

An earth-rumbling roar tore from Kirara's throat as she dodged one of Naraku's vast tentacles. The boomerang hacked through its tough, rawhide shell and struck flesh. It whistled through the air, spinning, the dark stains of violet blood visible on its bone as it made its way back to Sango.

I took one step out of the safety of the forest's amorphous shadow. My legs were shaky and my flesh looked scoured. My sailor outfit had withered away into tattered scraps. I looked down and saw my quiver of arrows and my bow resting just inches away from my feet. I reached down for them.

Sango, once again, dived and swung frantically at the gigantic Naraku with her boomerang. Kirara snarled and began assaulting him with her monstrous fangs, determined to help her master.

Miroku was still trying to ward off the venomous bees with his Kazaana and golden staff, soon joining the side of Inuyasha, his face a blend of heartrending pain and manly valor.

"Inuyasha," he cried, "don't give up. Kagome-sama is depending on you."

Yeah, I'd listened, but I forced my power to veil my thoughts, to keep them from ever reaching my mind. I scooped up the cluster of bolts and my bow, strongly disregarding the deep wound in my chest and the uncomfortable adhesiveness of the blood clinging to my neck. I lifted a free hand up to the smudgy puddle of blood staining the chest of my top. The Shikon-no-Tama that once dangled over that spot, was gone.

My eyes widened significantly.

"**AHHHHHH**!" Inuyasha swung his sword again, alternating the flow of power as it began to burn crimson, painting the sword in the same color as the blood sticking to my neck and singeing along its edges like fire. Naraku gasped as another one of his tentacles was amputated from his body. I was unsurprised by the fact that another tentacle didn't take its place. His energy was far too spent, so growing another one was currently out of the reach of his power.

I breathed in softly and realized that it felt ragged and dry. Soon, I began to wheeze as the excruciating twinge in my heart grew from the bloodstained gash. It took all I had to ignore the pain pervading my chest as I drew a bolt from the quiver and perched it alongside the string of the bow. I pulled the string back along with the arrow and thought, Please hit.

Ping.

Within that minor sound, a burst of amethyst engulfed the tail of the arrow then grew, swallowing it whole as it soared through the sky, piercing into one of the rampant tentacles. I watched and hoped with a distressing expression on my face, that it wounded Naraku devastatingly.

Inuyasha gasped and shot back, his eyes ensuing the arrow as it chopped through the tentacle and wedged itself deep into the side of Naraku's forehead.

Naraku tossed his head back to shed an outcry of pure pain. Inuyasha's amber orbs glistened beneath the ominous light of the full moon and the sweat accruing along his forehead and over and around his dark eyebrows. I suddenly found myself allured by them. I found myself opening some illusive door that has always been locked away from me. I peeked in and what I found was his soul, his glorious soul.

I smiled sadly and he finally looked at me.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku shouted.

"Right," he murmured. He turned his head away, closed his eyes, and drew in a deep breath.

Naraku stopped struggling and stared venomous daggers upon Sango, Inuyasha, Miroku, and me. Shippo was a few feet behind me, uninjured and alive. He was unconscious and his fluffy foxtail seemed like an orange-beige inferno within the darkness, beneath the light of the moon. I looked at him with the same smile that I had given to Inuyasha and the bow slipped from my grasp.

"Kaze-no-Kizu!" I heard him scream. The earth trembled and the sounds of energy rushing along dirt mingled sharply with the pitiful cries of Naraku, the one who tried to kill Kikyo and Inuyasha, the one who ruined everyone's destinies just by walking across their paths, the one who damn near killed me.

I collapsed and I could feel something coursing through my veins. I shook and I began to hyperventilate, doubling over and bracing myself greatly on the palms of my hands.

"Kagome-chan!"

"Kagome-sama!"

"**Kagome**!"

I smiled weakly and waited for all of them, my friends, to come to my rescue, me once again being the fair maiden in distress, but not willingly. I could hear Shippo stir and groan lethargically. Soon, he was hopping up in joy and relief as he pounced onto my right shoulder. Dirt squeezed through my fingers. My eyes strayed and settled on the archaic guise of Tetsusaiga. I looked up and found Naraku's carcass battered, slowly dwindling away into nothing.

My eyes rolled up and spotted Inuyasha, his silver hair glistening beautifully beneath the moonlight, and his amber eyes appearing more feral and brilliant within the ominous night. He smiled that same fanged smile, relief clearly sinking into his features.

Miroku and Sango beamed heavenly. A kitty-cat Kirara pounced onto my unoccupied shoulder and nuzzled against the crook of my neck, never minding that it was bloody and speckled with dirt. She'd mewed tenderly and I lifted a weak hand to massage one of her pointy ears.

"Finally it's over," Inuyasha gravely spoke, tossing his eyes away from mine, "Everything…everything he's caused will become nothing but a powerful memory."

"Yes," Miroku murmured, nodding gently.

Sango could only bow her head, a heartrending expression blanketing her face, making it seem as if she was on the narrow verge of sobbing aloud. I simply looked at her, but she never looked back at me. She just stood there, holding her Hiraikotsu behind her one-handedly and worrying her bottom lip quietly.

Shippo finally calmed down and grew solemn, dead stiff and silent. Kirara continued to snuggle against my neck, probably still unable to believe the fact that I was alive in true, vivid color. I forced myself to heft some of the weight off of my hands so that I could sit Indian-style atop of the hard soil, plainly forgetting that I was wearing a skirt.

A secret vow of silence fell upon us all as I watched Naraku's body fade off into the darkness, yet a feeling, a feeling so uneasily strong, crept through my body and caused a shiver to rush down my spine. I furled my bottom lip beneath my teeth and stopped massaging Kirara's ears to touch the nearly dry blood draped across my neck. My fingers began stroke at the scrape almost robotically while my mind drifted off into another world.

Suddenly, Inuyasha averted his attention unto me.

"What's wrong, Kagome?" he asked.

I didn't answer. All that consumed my actions were rubbing, wiping away the filth from my neck.

Inuyasha summed up my actions with a peculiar look that forced me not to glance up. Naraku's carcass had already shriveled into nothing but darkened soil and the nauseating odor of putrid blood. I drew my legs tight against my chest, my breasts aching beneath the bruising pressure of my knees. A few heartbeats of silence passed and, by then, I was already fully aware of the knee-buckling chill wrapping around my body. It nipped at my skin and sent a tremor tumbling down my spine.

"Inuyasha," I murmured, unable to grow accustomed to the silence weighing down heavily on my ears. I wanted to ask a question, a crucial question at that. But I found myself pausing, an uncanny glow of amethyst snagging my eye. I patted the muggy, forest floor for a quiet second. My fingers brushed against something cold and incredibly thin and hooked under it, tugging it upwards.

Miroku gasped when his eyes settled upon the jewel that dangled from it like a three-dimensional medallion.

"The…Shikon-no-Tama…" he whispered, seemingly afraid that if he said it loud enough, some evil, underhanded bird would come swooping down, snatch up the jewel, and fly away with it into the starless distance.

Sango raised her head and I could sense the icy shard of fear and shock that speared through her heart.

I looked back down and studied the jewel, long, hard, and most thoroughly. One thought teased with my emotions incessantly as if they were famished dogs, groveling pathetically at their master's feet, waiting for him to drop the bone that dangled temptingly from his fingertips.

"Inuyasha…" I spoke quietly beneath my breath, partially unaware that I had vocalized the main focus of my thoughts and plaited it into one, simple word.

Inuyasha's white, velveteen ears swiveled and his hardened expression brightened some, telling me that he'd heard me say his name.

"Yeah, wench?" he jokingly replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, fangs glistening in the moonlight. They appeared smaller than before, shrinking ever so slowly, which verified my unvoiced assumption that he was changing form, changing back into a human.

I didn't say a word. I drew in a ragged breath and buried my face into the valley between my knees. My eyes ached and something behind them throbbed intensely. The grip that I had upon my legs, slackened and my eyes, no matter how much I tried, just couldn't tear away from the jewel in my hand.

I made an unshakable vow with him a couple of months back. Right on the night of my eighteenth birthday, I promised that I would give him the sacred jewel once we destroyed Naraku. I'm not at all happy about that, but I cared deeply, strongly about him and thought that he actually earned something for his headstrong efforts in avenging Kikyo and, of course, protecting me for what was officially two years.

Two, long years.

It seemed like the eternally spinning Wheel of Fate spun a thread that snaked around my neck and began to find amusement in cutting off my air supply at sheer random. He wanted to change into a human for Kikyo, but with me, it was exactly the opposite. He wanted to change into a full-demon, to risk forgetting all about our journey and his friends. I didn't understand why he wanted to take such a risk though. Although it was long and difficult and unveiled countless obstacles along the way, the hunt for the Shikon shards grew into something beautiful that eventually deceived Inuyasha's and my emotions and gave us hope that we could become something more than just a priestess with her faithful friend, the half-demon. He was willing to throw all of that away, to cast all the memories of his fellow friends, the ones who stuck with him through thick and thin, out to sea.

I finally looked up and my eyes met his, tears trickling in salty, grimy brooks down my cheeks, eyes sore and puffy.

I didn't want to give the jewel to him, but I promised and I was a foolishly naïve girl who believed in keeping her promises. I hadn't even realized when I started crying and here I was now, spilling out feelings for him like a pitiful girlfriend trying to get her old boyfriend back.

But…wasn't that my intention?

"Inuyasha…" I muttered, my voice grave and nearly incoherent beneath the waves of heart-wrenching anguish and unfulfilled desire that were both causing my heart to swell hazardously. I wanted him to just slap the jewel out of my hand and scoop me up within those protective arms of his, shedding reassuring warmth, embracing me with a raw passion that needed to be acted out rather than just spoken.

Unfortunately, he didn't. He just stood there, his smile dying into a concerned frown.

"Kagome…" he uttered softly.

I tried my best to stand up, but my legs wobbled precariously and he caught me just when I thought I would collapse hard into the ground. He held me and I held him, the necklace glimmering dully and the jewel hidden within my fisted hand. Kirara and Shippo tumbled off of my shoulders and fell to the ground, oblivious, silently pondering.

Sango and Miroku smiled. It wasn't really a blinding smile, a smile that would linger and eventually become unimaginably contagious. It was a smile full of unleashed relief and sorrow, and when it stretched discreetly on my lips, I sniffled pathetically and nuzzled my face deeper into his fire-rat haori. I breathed in his unnatural scent and I couldn't get enough of it. I could smell the addicting odor of a sodden forest trapped in the coarse material of his shirt, the wonderful aroma of freshly fallen rain, and the musky scent of him, the burly and naked him underneath all those clothes.

"Inuyasha," I whispered, loud enough for only him to hear.

"Hai…" he replied in the same tranquil tone.

"Do you think you can take me…us…?" I paused and mulled over my choice of words. Some of them seemed almost redundant. "Do you think we can just go away somewhere?" I finished.

He sighed and his nose buried itself deep within my hair. "Yeah," he answered slowly.

Throughout the journey back to Kaede's village, everybody was silent, reeking of the stench of blood and sweat. I rode on Inuyasha's back as he walked far behind the group, not at all keen to catch up. I was making a trying attempt to fall asleep, my head resting upon his shoulder to where my nose spooned against the crook of his neck. It was hard to look at him out of the corner of my eye but I pilfered a nice, blurry image of him nonetheless.

I smiled tenderly when he caught my strained gaze and almost cried when he returned the action with equal and similar ardor.

_ii. _**Fate**

I woke up hours later to the sound of crackling and the earthy smell of burning wood. I groaned drowsily and struggled to rub the sleep away from my eyes, the orange-red glow of the fire nearly blinding me, causing me to shy away and wriggle. I turned my back towards it, silently relishing in the comforting warmth that caressed my back. Some kind of coverlet brushed against the side of my right shoulder and I drew it closer. Realization dawned on me slightly, and, without a doubt, I knew that I was naked and could've cared less. Just as long as the nude body alongside me stayed and continued to hold me in its strong embrace, I was in utter bliss.

"Kagome?" Lavender eyes blinked back at me beyond a shroud of ebony bangs and I beamed amiably.

"I'm still here," I replied.

"Good," Inuyasha sighed quietly, pulling me tighter against his chest.

My breathing slowed and I lingered silently on the brink of not breathing and soaking in contemplative serenity. Lips welded gently against my forehead, I felt him smile lightly as his fingers frolicked along the shallow curve of my back.

"Where are we?" I suddenly asked, unable to tolerate the cumbersome silence any longer.

"Somewhere private," he responded in a matter-of-factly tone.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Really, really?"

"Yeah."

"Really, really, really, really?"

"Damn** it**! I said **yeah**."

I chortled gently and fidgeted again underneath the sprawled blanket. My hands grazed along his skin, fingers freezing when they swept across something rough and oddly sleek altogether. My body had grown taut and I peeled my hand away to spot a large portion of gauze melded directly above his heart. I frowned in empathy and wonder. Blood was already soaking through the white cloth like dark ink.

"What," I fooled around with the translucent tape of the bandage, smoothing my finger back and forth along his skin, "happened to you?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he spooned me closer against his body and I yawned deeply, growing tired beneath the combined warmth that was his body and the flickering blaze behind me. It all felt so good.

"Naraku," he calmly spoke. "One of his tentacles struck me in the chest while we were fighting."

"Are you—" He didn't give me the chance to finish, but that was okay. I knew he loved to play the toughest when it came to things such as this, always getting in the last word. After all the nights he's gone through being human, he still didn't understand his limits.

"I'm fine. It's just that…" His hand slinked out from underneath the blanket and caressed the bandage, "it's kinda ironic that it happened to go straight into my chest."

Actually, now that I had a chance to think about it, it was uncharacteristically ironic. Here he was, bathing in the afterglow of triumph. He's finally defeated Naraku, the one who fooled around with his life, the one who broke the hearts of both him and Kikyo. Now, instead of mending his fractured heart, triumph stabbed him practically in the chest!

"For what it's worth," I suddenly muttered, still feeling that unusual sensation that crossed between pity and guilt, "I'm sorry."

I didn't know why, but I actually thought that he would end with a sunken Yeah, me too. Instead, he smirked and his head sank deep enough so that our lips met and a warm, tingly feeling shot all the way up from my toes to my fingertips. When he pulled away, I smiled groggily.

"Inuyasha," I started, but my comment was cut short by his lips squirming idly against mine.

"Can I keep you, Kagome?" he suddenly asked once he broke the kiss, his breath like a blanket of heat falling across my lips.

"W—what are you talking about?" I asked back, struggling feebly against him to capture his lips again.

"Can I keep you?" he repeated and angled his head just enough to nuzzle my cheek affectionately with his own. His breath spilled over and into my ears like lava, "Please…"

I still didn't know what he was talking about, but I said yes anyway. My whole body began to feel like a sausage patty lounging on a sizzling skillet. I pulled my hand up to caress Inuyasha's soft, milky cheek and silvery, downy strands while his eyes bored heavily into my own and caused me to liquefy beneath his gaze. I looked on dazedly as the sparkle in his eyes flickered beautifully underneath the orange-reddish glow of the fire. My lips parted slightly when he began to descend gradually to steal a sweet, succulent kiss from my lips once more.

All bothersome thoughts were cast aside that night into oblivion. The sweet misery that we felt for each other, crumbled, and blossomed into a fiery passion that just had to be brought to life, to be contrived in simple actions rather than foolish words.

I could've cared less about the Shikon jewel now. I shoved all thoughts of it aside and caved in. I gave way to my unbearable emotions, both of us did. Nonetheless, there was one thought, one itsy-bitsy thought that gnawed at my soul and caused reality to slowly come seeping back in.

He was going to want the jewel someday. There was no doubting it whether it'll be tomorrow or months from now before he asked for it and made that revolting wish.

One day, he'd be gone, soul incarcerated, locked away from both Kikyo and me forever. He'd be a stranger to us all. A lone dog that just so happened to lose its way and fall straight into the arms of companionship only to stumble back across its rightful path and resume its journey like nothing had ever taken place. And there was no clear-cut motive behind his actions other than his pungent desire to become—

A full-fledged demon…

I heard him moan, "Kagome…"

I sniffled roughly as a tear rolled down my cheek.

I promised, I thought to myself.

"Inuyasha…"

I'd always be there for him no matter what.


	2. Chapter 1: Forget Me Not

_Chapter One_

_**Forget Me Not**_

When I stirred to the unpleasant, heady stench of cinders and the high-pitched chirping of birds, I realized, without a trace of a doubt, that Inuyasha was gone, _Tetsusaiga_, his delightful scent, everything, gone right along with him. Wrapping the rough quilt around me in a way that wouldn't rub my skin raw, I stumbled out of the hut and into the village like an inebriated, slovenly dressed whore who seemed unaware of real clothes or even self-respect at that. There, I discovered that even the sacred jewel that Miroku had kept for safekeeping had vanished. It didn't take much for me to put two and two together then. Inuyasha wasn't coming back, and though Sango and Miroku couldn't unearth the mystery before them as easily as I could, it was like a car hiding beneath a haystack for me—so prominent and hell-bent on me unraveling it.

After I washed up and changed into some fresh clothes, I finally decided after 5-minutes of what I assumed was thorough thinking, that now was the time to leave and never look back. I didn't want to stick around and see where Inuyasha wandered off to. Neither did I want to stay and allow him to stagger back to the village and allow what little dignity I had left to fall siege under his artful control.

My heart felt like it had a hole in it probably the size of a fist. It hurt, and the realization part hurt even worse. I let myself plummet into Inuyasha's strong, well-matured arms and allowed his hands to dance along my feverish flesh haphazardly as I began to feel like melting silly-putty beneath them. Though I didn't want to admit it, I'd let Inuyasha sweep me away into this whole other, nonexistent world of romance that only existed in fairytales.

I wondered if the love that sparked alive between Cinderella and Prince Charming was temporary. I wondered if their love had only lasted up to the last page of their stereotypical tale, and then dimmed completely once the reader closed the book and set it back on the shelf, heart drowning in certainty that realistic romance honestly met standards such as those .

I _humph_ed down at my oversized, yellow-suede backpack, fumbling madly to pull its flap over the countless contents backing it up. I couldn't buckle it shut and sensed the dimmer on my rage begin to fall apart.

"If only Kouga could see me now," I said to myself with a crooked smile, "He'd probably say the usual and…and, for the first time, I actually won't take his words for granted."

I fought ruthlessly to subdue my tears as I slid the backpack over my shoulders, flap hanging limply, unbuckled. I was fully prepared for my journey back to the Bone-Eater's well, however, my footing was reluctant and it took a lot of strength to get my legs and feet to cooperate and not crumble underneath me. When I made it to the edge of the village, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippo were already there and waiting on me with serious expressions that caused my heart to lurch.

Unsurely, I trudged forward. Almost as if I was leaving for a routine getaway to my time period only to come back one day later, I said goodbye to my friends, nearly choking underneath the weight of sorrow that spilled from their sad faces and the anguish that rolled off of my heart like some huge thing ready to explode.

"I guess it's time for me to," I paused, not really putting any faith into the word and fell softly from my lips, "leave."

Nobody said a word, and, suddenly, I felt weighted down by so much guilt that it was stifling.

Shippo was the first one who actually succeeded in making me fall out on my knees and weep to my heart's content. He raced into my arms and kept chanting to me in heart-wrenching words that slowly molded into a broken mantra, "Don't leave, Okaa-san. Don't leave, Okaa-san. Please, Okaa-san, don't leave."

His puny nose dug into the crook of my neck, hot and moist with tears. His beautiful, leaf-green eyes were bunched shut as tears continued to leak from their ridges and dribble down his long, elegant eyelashes. His eyelashes have always been perfect. Almost as perfect as Inuyasha's.

I choked on a heavy, throat-clenching sob, hardly noticing the gentle pitter-patter and well measured rustle of footsteps approaching me from the front. Without a trace of forewarning and while I embraced Shippo tighter against my chest, Sango stooped down to where we were able to meet at roughly eye level. I was reluctant at first, but bit-by-bit, I pried my eyes open, already sensing the oncoming puffiness and stinging.

"Kagome, when will you come back?" she asked. I didn't see a single tear stain her perfectly structured face, probably because they were still welling profusely in her lower eyelid, hiding themselves from those watching. But it was only Miroku and I who truly knew she was on the verge of weeping. The villagers were still fast asleep even though the sun had raised a good distance above the horizon.

"Never," I answered lowly.

I peered up at Miroku with a torn face, eyes still glazed over by tears and the little bit of makeup I used to keep my mind even busier while I got dressed. I dimly hoped that the water blotches on my cheeks and underneath my chin would cover up the makeup stains, but then the thought vanished completely from my mind when Miroku spoke.

"We may be friends, Kagome-sama," he started, his voice unusually deep and grave, "But what he's done to you…to us. I'll make sure I'll find him and…"

"Miroku!" I sobbed and began to shake my head frantically.

Miroku closed his eyes. Both Sango and him were still dressed in the nightgowns that the villagers supposedly lent to them when we first entered the village, "Kagome-sama, I will get him back for this. To fool you…us like that when it was obviously clear that he just wanted the jewel instead."

"Miroku, please…" I pleaded.

Shippo choked briefly on a heavy sob. Before I knew it, Sango's wiry arms were winding around my body as she pulled herself close against Shippo's and my bodies. She was crying awfully hard judging by the wetness collecting along the chest of my thin, cotton shirt and the wet splotches forming along the thighs of my dark jeans. My school uniform was a massacre of rips, tears, and stains, so I decided to wear something cleaner.

"To leave like this…why are you even leaving at all?" she murmured as her grip strengthened.

"Yes…why, Okaa-san?" I heard Shippo ask.

I smiled grimly. "Because I'm not needed here anymore. I've repented for what I've done when I first set foot in this era. The jewel is complete and the life that I wanted back so many years ago is my reward."

"Kagome-chan, you can't leave." Coming from Sango that almost sounded like a demand rather than a frayed wish escaping the lips of a depressed young woman with the incandescent soul of warrior roiling inside her body.

I sighed and licked my lips. Carefully I tried to wriggle out of her grasp. She let me without protest, but her movements screamed unwilling.

Sango was still on the ground when I stood to stare Miroku straight in the eyes. Slowly, I put Shippo on the ground to where he was kneeling sordidly, his eyes glued to the beaten path that wounded into the village. I hadn't even noticed Kirara until she joined the rest of us, pouncing automatically on my shoulder and mewing, nuzzling the curve of my neck with her small, furry head like she had last night.

I smiled.

I didn't care what anyone said. That mewl was still the cutest thing I've ever heard.

"Kagome…" Miroku started.

My head immediately snapped upright. That was the first time I ever heard him use my name without any sort of meaningful honorific. I was shocked when I felt his hands cup my butt and squeeze hard as he pulled me fast against him so that my face was buried in the shallow concave where is shoulder spooned southward and merged with his chest. Kirara jumped off of my shoulder and onto the ground. I was shocked to say the least, but then came the hearty fits of laughter that rumbled through Miroku's throat and out into the open.

"You know something?" he asked.

"What?"

"I've always wanted to do that."

His hands dropped away from my butt and gripped both of my sides in a friendly hug.

"Oh, Miroku…" I mumbled against the silky material of his nightclothes, "I'll miss you…all of you."

"We'll…miss you, too," he replied. Quickly, I pulled away from his comforting hug and tugged hard at the strap of my backpack to keep it from slipping off my shoulder and slowly started for the well in the forest…Inuyasha's forest.

_I won't look back,_ I thought, _No matter what, I won't look back._

"OKAA-SAN!" Shippo suddenly wailed.

I sniffled and several tears dribbled down my cheeks. Somehow, without my consent, my feet had broken out into a run and soon I was batting wildly with my free arm at loose twigs and vines. I'd stopped running when I arrived at the well and shoved my backpack with hysterical hands into the time slip first. Trying my best to swallow my sobs…to not let my feelings hold sway over my limbs and body…I swung my legs over the lip of the well and into the cool, sinister gloom. From what I could tell as some unknown feeling slithered underneath my pant's leg and caressed my skin, it was wet down there, but that would soon be replaced by the pungent scent of stagnant water and sake.

I looked up at the sky with sad eyes…sad, **_pleading_** eyes.

"Goodbye," I said softly. I eagerly expected for that very word to reach Inuyasha—wherever he was—j but there was a likely chance it didn't. He was probably long gone by now, wish made, memories shredded entirely.

Closing my eyes, I slipped into the cool wave of darkness and drowned myself in it until a sea of amethyst and indigo enveloped me whole and spat me out on the other end. In an instant I was made over again, this time coming out normal, with just a one-life accessory. I wasn't known as a priestess with allegedly impressive powers that caused most demons' vicious temperaments to waver. Here, I was nothing but a run-of-the-mill, little-miss-nice-college-girl with no boyfriend or any type of hindrances to hold her back from fulfilling her dreams. Here, nobody labeled me as the extraordinary reincarnation of Kikyo or as the priestess who always had a pigheaded, arrogant, half-demon nipping at my heels with a strange, seemingly irremovable "stink" eye marring his features with every new scent or thing-a-mabob that he encountered.

It may've taken a year or so, but I let thoughts regarding Shippo, Miroku, Kouga, Sango, and Kirara teeter to the side. However, it was much more difficult to discard any of the memories with Inuyasha in them. Just when I thought I'd put such reminiscences behind me, I started to feel guilty and I would run across tiny, insignificant things that would remind me of him in an instant such as my window, my stuffed, toy dog sitting on my work desk, my back-scrubber, and even my bed.

One night, while I was working on my trigonometry problems, I finally reached a conclusion. Because the healing process involved so much pain and torment, I thought that using what little, assessable memories I had left could act as substitute pain-killers.

And so, I saved some memories worth remembering, some good and some bad.

Eventually, I rationalized with myself that it wouldn't hurt to hold onto Inuyasha's image just for a little while longer.

_ii. _**When it Rains, it Pours**

Grandpa died seven years later after I came back home, after I retired from my time-traveling days. My mother, Souta, and I drove to his funeral. While they mingled mindlessly with some of the family members—**and **guests—that bothered to show up, I was silent. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

A little while after that, my mother was struck down by a powerful bout of depression. Souta and I drove to her funeral. He mingled, laughed, and cried while I stood alongside her tombstone, never giving way to my emotions even as nightfall slipped past the pointy crown of the forest surrounding the cemetery, making the trees seem like triangular monstrosities in the moonlight. Thankfully, the moonlight warded away my fear of darkness as I silently listened to the crunching of dead leaves fade into the deathly silence.

"Kagome," Souta whispered. I could hear him approaching and for a fleeting moment, I tried to make-believe that I wasn't there, nothing but a phantom, "everybody's gone."

"So." I replied without any hesitation. Even I could sense the ruthlessness in my voice, but I tried to bite it back, "Every last one of them were practically giggling and trampling over every gravesite without a hint of remorse, just to get to their cars and drive home, to get away from this…depressing **_dump_**!" I spat out the last word. It tasted like something revolting and it dangled from the very tip of my tongue like poison.

"C'mon, sis." I still couldn't believe that after all these years, he, even now, continued to address me by that same, childish nickname, "You've never cried. You've never wept once during Grandpa's or…or Mama's funeral. And now…now I find you dumping everything on yourself."

I bowed my head. "Who said that I was putting everything on myself, ne?" I asked softly, already feeling the rage simmering deep down within my gut, "When grandpa died, I was ready to take on the future with opened arms because his death wasn't exactly unexpected. Now that Mama's gone…I don't know what else to do now."

Silence settled upon us like an irremovable anvil.

"C'mon, sis," Souta murmured and took a few more steps closer, shadow merging instantly with mine as they slithered and flittered along the grassy floor, together as one, bonding as something indestructible.

I knew he was trying to comfort me to the best of his abilities, and, for that, he merited some definite brownie points.

I swayed back and forth on the balls of my feet and drew my arms around myself. My fingers interlaced and I peered up towards the silky, midnight blue sky. The myriad of scattered stars and the ominous, full moon rescued it from looking pitch black, and for that, I was internally grateful.

_Inuyasha should be in his human form tonight, _I thought calmly, _That is, if he hadn't already made his wish. _

I sighed a few heartbeats later. Souta's brown eyes swerved sharply from Mama's tombstone and rested on me solemnly, just to lure me away from the fact that he was actually taking the timeout to mull over something, something too far in depth to be conjured in plain words. I tried my best not to ask him what was wrong and kept my opinions to myself, most of which crossed that little boundary of privacy and prying into other people's lives. Even though we were siblings, sometimes a line still needed to be drawn to separate helpful reassurance from unruly snooping.

"Hey, Souta?" I whispered. The trees seemed to murmur and coil deeper, tighter around us.

"Yeah?" he replied, short, sable hair flapping within the gentle breeze that spurred abruptly through the forest, whistled through the leaves, and swooshed along the grassy plains. Like water, it collided into the tombstones strewn all over the vacant cemetery and severed.

I drew in a deep breath and exhaled, loudly. "Have you ever wondered what it would've been like if they'd never died and if we all just lived normal lives?"

"What are you talking about?" I knew it. He was completely oblivious. He'd completely forgotten about everything.

"If I hadn't fallen into the time slip and met Inuyasha, do you actually think that my…our futures would've seemed a little bit brighter?" I repeated.

"Huh? Inuyasha? I don't know what you're talking about," he truthfully answered, I guess. Damn it! I couldn't stand it when he acted like that. Although he was a grown man now, capable of understanding that lying was wrong, he just didn't understand the full gist of it all.

Finally, I shattered and a sigh ruptured through my lips before I mumbled discouragingly, "Never mind."

Silence swished past us, between us in a torrent of broken thoughts. Our expressions seemed identical, yet only one of us was truly hefting something more than the other atop of their back, suffering under a burdening pain that just wouldn't fade away.

Several minutes ran away with the wind until it was probably no later than ten minutes past six. Picking up on the symptoms of grogginess beginning to drain my senses, I told Souta that I was ready to go home. He drove since I didn't have my car keys—let alone my car—with me at the moment.

We drove past the family shrine, barely bestowing it with a glance. We got rid of it just as soon Mama died, and then reached an agreement to go our separate ways. And so we wouldn't completely fall out of each other's lives, we kept intact with each other constantly by phone.

Souta shipped off into the very heart of Tokyo and settled down in an apartment suite that was thankfully smack dab within his pricing range. I moved down to Hokkaido in an attempt to just live alone, to seek a new life apart from the one that I'd outgrown, the life that seemed worn and distasteful like an old hand-me-down.

I managed to buy a condo and discovered my rightful place at a local corporation called, "Symphonia Inc". They specialized in music, something I'd often wanted to become a part of ever since I graduated from high school and my options broadened drastically.

Everything seemed pleasantly stable for the first week I spent

Inuyasha said that I was a helpless dope and that music was nothing but idiotic gibberish and excessive noise. He only said that because some of the albums I owned caused him to go under a momentary lapse of hearing. One late evening, however, he nearly succeeded in making himself entirely deaf by slipping on my headphones and tinkering around with my CD player.

I giggled softly to myself as I went about rearranging some of my belongings inside of my new bedroom. The room seemed quite larger compared to my old one, but it was remarkably vacant and quiet. For once, I didn't have to worry about Inuyasha unexpectedly dropping in on me while I was doing my homework, changing, or using the bathroom. For once, I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself, and for that reason, I'd nearly broke down into a violent sob.

My throat ached. I tried to stand on my tippy-toes so that I could reach the very top shelf of my bookcase. I made sure that the picture frame that I was trying to keep from smashing on the fine, wood floors was well balanced and wouldn't teeter. It didn't and a brittle smile stretched across my lips as I sniffled pathetically and stooped down to scoop up another picture from my little cardboard box of memories.

The last picture that I'd set up was of my brother and I standing underneath the Goshinboku on a hot, summer day when we were a bit younger. The next portrait was a true Kodiak moment. It was a worn, sepia colored photo, nearly crinkled and tattered along the edges. My mother consumed the spotlight, the Goshinboku like a slender skyscraper made of seemingly smooth bark behind her as she cradled her plump tummy. She was smiling tenderly towards the camera and I could tell by her shoulder-length hair that she was only in her late teens.

I smiled and planted the frame on the shelf. I hefted the box up from the ground and left the room to squirrel it away within the hall closet. Only when I was led to believe that I was done unpacking, I'd closed the closet door and turned around to face the living room. The couch that I'd managed to get before both Souta and I sold the shrine was all white. It was huddled against the left side of the room, facing the bay window. The plastic was still wrapped around it, making it appear like the perfect gift. It would take hours to unwrap the plastic and I groaned in dismay, "It's gonna take me forever to get everything set up."

Slowly, I started further down the hallway towards the living room. The phone suddenly rang.

I sighed and my slothful pace hastened, cutting around the corner into the kitchen. I'd put the only phone that I had in my bedroom in the kitchen. It was sitting above the kitchen counter when I rushed in and I'd managed to reach it before the last ring, "Hello?"

"Hey." The voice was definitely male, a cheery, almost innocent male at that. My face contorted with the deluge of confusion flooding through me, sending various kinds of messages to my brain.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he asked.

"Not…really," I replied. Since the phone was portable, I began to walk out of the kitchen, completely oblivious towards my actions. I couldn't help it. It was a habit that I'd picked up after chatting on the phone for hours on end. I just had to move around.

"Remember high school, freshman year?"

"Not all that much," I replied nonchalantly. I was already marching up the stairs.

"Do you remember the guy that always offered you all sorts of remedies when you fell ill?" he chuckled softly and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Hojo! I can't believe it! I thought you'd forgotten about me a long time ago."

"No, not really," he said quite smoothly.

_Wait…_

"Your voice," I said softly, just one notch above being a breathy whisper, "It's…changed. It sounds deeper. No wonder I couldn't remember you."

"Yeah…" I knew he was probably rubbing the back of his neck by now. He was always like that when he tried to ask me out on dates back in high school or when he found himself in too-difficult-to-handle situations, "Well, you sound…different…too."

"So…" I drummed my hand against the side of my thigh in anxiety, taking slow to adjusting to trying to spur up a conversation with a boy that I felt no passion for, at least, not the burning, raw sort of passion I felt for Inuyasha, "How you been?"

"Oh!" I heard him scratch his head and juggle the phone apprehensively, "I'm doing fine. I'm a doctor now at HGH."

"W—wow! You've been…busy I see." I was shocked beyond belief! To be accepted by a hospital like that was far beyond me. I was told that the people there only accepted the best of the best and I guess—I guess I was just happy that Hojo was issued out such a glorious life. He was even probably married to one of my boy-crazed friends at the rate he was going.

"Yeah, but—"

"So, how'd you manage to get my phone number?" I asked, dismissing the couple of words he was trying to say.

"Umm…" he stammered.

Right away, that told me something. Either he was a bit hesitant to snitch on his source or he knew I would get angry. Both could've been true, so I couldn't choose right away.

"I—I…"

I finally let out a meaningless sigh. My shoulders slumped heavily as I entered my bedroom and plunked down onto my brand-spankin'-new, queen-sized, canopy bed, letting the warm sunlight slipping in through the windows nearby, slant across my stomach and legs.

"Was it Ayumi?" I asked, quietly recounting the names of people I've told about my 'hidden' paradise.

"Not really…no," he replied.

"Eri?"

"Umm…no."

" - Yuka?"

Silence.

Bingo! Looks like we have a winner!

"What did she say?" I gulped roughly upon asking that question. Over the years, Yuka had turned into a real chatterbox. Though she knew at times when to keep her mouth shut, sometimes when it came to people asking her questions she had to give the whole answer. Not just half or none of it, but all of it.

"Well…" he began tentatively, "She said that—that you were moving out of Tokyo into Hokkaido, and that your…well…"

"What?" I pressed, eyes wide.

"Well…that your boyfriend…"

"Dumped me?" I finished indifferently. It's been years, but I'd known Inuyasha threw me away for the mystical power of the sacred jewel. Somehow though, over the years, it's grown easy to cope with the fact that he was the one to sever our relationship. It was neither Fate nor me, but him all on his very own.

"Yeah…"

"Hojo?" I suddenly spoke after a tense moment of silence.

"Yes…Higurashi?"

"The name's Kagome just to set things straight," I said with a light grin.

"O—okay…Ka…gome."

"And…I want to thank you for calling me today."

I heard him swallow deeply. He was probably even blushing, though I couldn't really tell.

"Uh…Higur…I mean…Kagome," he spoke bashfully, "How would you…umm…like to go to the…movies with me…tonight? I mean… so that we can catch up on some old times."

"Hojo…I…I just can—" I started to oppose his offer, but that one word that I was determined to avoid ever since I'd met him came rushing into my ears.

"Please…"

Though it took some long and thorough contemplation, I finally hung up the phone. I accepted Hojo's offer, but as a repercussion something heavy weighed down on my heart, reprimanding me for doing such a thing. I dragged myself back downstairs and began unwrapping the plastic from around the couch. Remarkably, it felt like only seconds later before I was back upstairs, everything moved in and me upstairs, dressed in a simple pair of jeans, a white tank top, and a designer's jean jacket and spread out on my bed like a carcass begging for the vultures to pick at my remains.

I turned over onto my side with a sigh. The coolness of the comfy pillows pressed against my cheek and the suppleness of the navy-blue comforter beneath me was all that I needed to lure my mind away from the fact that I was actually going on a date with Hojo Tsukinaka.

I barreled over onto my back.

_I can't believe this is truly happening, _I thought to myself while tracing the lines swirling along my bedroom ceiling with my eyes, _After all these years of feeding him every kind of excuse in the book about not being able to go on a date with him, I find myself suddenly running out of them._

For some strange and utterly unknown and undoubtedly illogical reason, I found myself forking over the directions to my condo to Hojo like we were old chums who were only going to visit each other once a month in an effort to keep up with the latest. I saw the other "me" that was looking at me from inside the glassy confines of the mirror looming in front of me, phone in hand, and a disoriented expression on her face. I could hear her whispered words slip into my ears as if she was standing adjacent to me, "What in the hell are you doing? What about Inuyasha?"

But I forced the words out of my head before they even had a chance to settle, and switched the phone over into my other hand, nervously raising it up to my ear, "Hojo, what about a movie? There's nothing to watch on TV and I've wanted to see this movie that just came out a couple of weeks back."

Hojo spoke breathlessly as if he were just getting over some shocking moment, "Great! I'll be there at about seven o' clock to pick you up."

I turned my head to look at the digital clock perched on top of my work desk. It already read 7:10.

That's strange. I didn't know when I'd changed, but I guess time just wasn't on my side tonight. Ever since that phone call I've been a bit absentminded. I thought that I could take my mind off of things by moving furniture around and getting more settled in. Sadly, my thoughts strayed onto Inuyasha and what he was probably doing right now, back in the _Sengoku Jidai_. Then they ventured off onto Hojo and his unexpected offer.

Damn it! Why did all of a sudden my life felt like a lopsided, soap opera?

_Crackle. Crackle. Vroom._

Involuntarily, I jumped. I swung my legs over the bed and gazed out of my window so that the dim, curvy roadway in front of my condo soaked up the limelight within my line of vision.

A red Viper, almost too red to see through the nighttime darkness, pulled up in front of the garage door. Two seconds later, the roaring of the engine died and the lights dimmed as a shadowy figure stepped out of the car with a misshapen, triangular thing protruding from its fisted hand. It slammed the car door shut and made its way toward my door.

I passed a swift glance over my feet. Giddily, I thanked myself for wearing the brown, suede boots that Eri bought for me as an early birthday present this year. They didn't make my feet look all that big or small. In fact, they made them look just right.

With a happy spring in my step, I bounded out of bed and downstairs to the foyer. The doorbell rang out just as I strolled down the narrow hallway. The sound of my footsteps carried throughout the entire foyer and dining room as I tip-tapped in the direction of the door.

I gripped the doorknob loosely, and let go of the air pinned up in my chest. Breathing in, I put a tight smile on my face and twisted the knob, pulling the door open as if it took all the strength I had and murmuring, once my eyes landed on his, "Hi, Hojo."

"Hello, Higurash…Ka…gome," he answered.

I looked at him with a tender smile and my gaze dropped. It landed on the bundle of roses in his hands and in a second, he'd shoved them in front of me.

"I—I'm sorry. I—I almost forgot," he stammered.

I giggled and accepted the roses with a gentle murmur of gratitude.

"Come in while I put these in some water, okay?" I said as I stepped aside to grant him access.

He walked in timidly and I closed the door gently behind him. After another brief exchange of smiles, I leapt off into the direction of the kitchen.

I managed to find a cooking pot in the dishwasher for the roses—didn't own a flower vase—and filled one-third of it with lukewarm water. I then traipsed back into the foyer to have a light chat with Hojo, which was, all the while, uncomfortably awkward.

Minutes passed and soon we were both primed and rearin' to go. He complimented me frequently on everything during the ride to Tonikawa Cinemas. He went on and on about my hair, my eyes, my skin color, my clothes, and even my 'button' nose. I was unbelievably flustered by the time we reached our destination that I nearly scowled at the bright lights covering the front of the theater.

Like a true gentleman, he got out of the car first and circled. He opened the door for me with a charming smile and I returned it with a friendly one of my own.

We both decided on a movie without any excessive arguing. He, just as I thought he would, let me have the first pick (there was no second). I wanted to see _Van Helsing_ because I heard that it served as quite a good action-romance combo flick. And it was the only way I could think of to avoid any physical contact with Hojo and still be able to enjoy myself.

However, my sneaky stratagem to elude kissing or even remotely touching any part of Hojo, backfired without warning when I caught him sneaking quiet peeks of me out of the corners of his eyes. Though the theater was dark, it was still fairly conspicuous.

After that, I added "eye contact" to my list of things to avoid for the rest of the night.

When Hugh Jackman reappeared on the screen with the woman that he allegedly fell in love with, my toes nearly curled when they heatedly kissed each other. That was when my eyes wandered on him, coinciding with my stray hand as it crept into the nearly empty bucket of popcorn sitting in his lap and unknowingly touched his. Our eyes locked when he turned his head and I blushed furiously, quickly withdrawing my hand and forcing my attention to stay on the screen.

Two hours dragged by fairly quickly. We left the movie theater and decided to go out for ice cream at a quaint, local parlor. Under the fluorescent lighting, I'd realized that he'd changed so much over the years. He wasn't as scrawny as I once remembered him to be, and his hair seemed longer somehow, close to being unruly and neat all at the same time. His shoulders were slightly broader and his eyes held that well-matured masculinity of a full-grown man, yet they still held that soft, immortal light of innocence.

When Hojo sat down across from me with a small sundae, I smiled weakly and slowly dunked my spoon into my own desert and brought it back to my lips at an upside-down angle. His eyes tried to bore holes into my own. After we ate, he told me that he was going to drive me back home for the night and strangely I felt like the night was still young and that we could squeeze in a few more activities.

"Hojo," I murmured from the passenger's seat as he got into the car.

"Yes…Kagome?" he replied.

"When we get back, why not you stay over a little while longer," I spoke softly, almost embarrassingly, "It's kinda lonely being in a new place all by yourself, you know?"

He nodded sagely and said, "I know. Believe me…I know."

I smiled, glad that he understood. But my lips slowly dropped into a pensive frown when he stuck the key in the ignition and revved the engine. It roared to life while I exhaled a soft sigh and slumped further against my seat.

It felt like only a couple of minutes had passed before we pulled up into the small driveway in front of my condo. I got out of the car first and headed for the door. Hojo got out second and locked his car with a small remote. The car beeped and I felt a knee-buckling shiver roll down my spine. Before I knew it, he was behind me with a concerned frown sagging on his face. His dark brown eyes twinkled dully underneath the porch light.

Dumbly I looked down only to find myself partially flushed at the sight of bare concrete embroidered in worn bricks below me. My veranda was extremely small, so small that a lawn chair wouldn't even be able to fit without its forelegs easing off the edge.

I blushed even harder, the pressure knotting inside of my stomach feeling ready to erupt at any second. Shoot, I should've bought flowers. Probably if I got one of those plants with the dark orange petals speckled in black maybe?

"Umm…Higurashi?"

"Hmm?" My head jolted upright and I wheeled around with a strained smile.

"Are you—I mean we—are we…going in?" His hands were crammed deep within his pants pockets now and his head was set in a disorientated lilt. I looked down slowly and only then did I discover that he was wearing jeans and a button-up shirt with floppy collars. It was the first time that I'd ever seen him dressed so…casually before. He always confronted me in his school uniform and soon I'd grown use to that innocent schoolboy look. Believe it or not, it seemed more like him instead of jeans or a black shirt, or even Inuyasha's crimson fire-rat haori and parachute pants…

"Umm…Higur—"

"Kagome," I corrected indifferently. I swayed crookedly on the balls of feet, completely oblivious and distracted.

"Umm…Kagome…shouldn't we go in now?"

_Nah_, I thought. Hojo didn't possess that daredevil sort of elegance that was only Inuyasha. He didn't own Inuyasha's sinuous mane of silver that sometimes had me frowning, heart aching with envy. And as for his traditional, arrogant smirk, he didn't possess that either. Hojo was just…Hojo, someone normal, oddly predictable, and dense. Inuyasha was just Inuyasha, someone both death defying and wondrous, someone who, with a simple touch, brought some unknown feeling to stir inside of me.

"Ka—Kagome?"

"Yeah," I answered slowly.

_So I miss him_, I thought courageously. _That's…all right…right? I wonder what he's doing right now? It's been years and I probably look like a crumpled dumpling. He probably looks the same and with Kikyo by his side…he probably looks…even better._

"Kagome?" The apprehension in Hojo's voice deepened, becoming even more noticeable.

The keys in my hand slipped, clanging loudly onto the concrete. There was silence, nothing but silence and the diluted, amber glow of the porch light hovering close beside us. Moths began to swarm around us. I felt the feather light caress of one of their wings brush across my nose and cheek and I shivered. My breath hastened and my heart jumped.

"I miss him," I murmured quietly, "I miss him so damn much." A light breeze encircled us. It swept across my face and the first thing that slipped into my mind was cold and heartless. That was before my cheeks began to burn with some unusual fire kindling inside of me, a fire that slowly warmed and mended my broken heart.

Suddenly, I realized that Hojo was there, standing quietly in front of me…extremely concerned…probably growing tired of my old middle-school antics…and…holding me. He was holding me, embracing me with strong, steady arms. I wanted to shove him away and grab my keys and run, I wanted to run to my car and drive off into the starless night.

_Anywhere would be perfect_, I thought. _Just…anywhere. I want to forget about him and all about the life we had with one another. I want him out of my mind…his very name…his very smell. Damn it! I just want him gone, erased completely from my memories. If only…_

Numbly, I looked up into Hojo's mud-brown eyes. I could practically see myself in them, my distressed expression and all. Hojo's eyes were like a portal, a cavernous portal to something I didn't quite understand. I found myself drowning in the small pool of darkness settled in between their chocolaty irises and without a moment's notice, I was standing on the tips of my toes and gradually leaning forward. I felt like silly putty in his hands and I was determined to hold onto that one feeling.

_If only I could find a way to forget about him and the silly games he's put me through…_

My hands fisted tightly into the fabric of his shirt, yet I continued to lean inward.

_I want him back, but he's put me through so much…_

The very tips of our noses touched. I bit my lower lip, as did he. Our breaths mingled and soon became labored, careful and heavy.

_And he's right here, waiting for me to kiss him, ready for me to make love to him again. It's mutual, the feelings raging within us._

Our lips caressed, and just as I thought they would, they melded perfectly.

The kiss was wet, purely sexual. I lifted my hands and buried my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. The hands spooned against the curve of my back were hesitant, gently moving up and down. The only sounds that emerged out of the murky silence were smacking and the monotonous hiss of skin rubbing against clothing.

_I want this and he wants this to…I can feel it…_

I nipped at his bottom lip and his mouth opened slowly, somewhat timidly. My tongue delved into his mouth and tapped his lovingly.

_I don't want this to end…_

Carefully, my hands slid down to the waistline of his jeans. I felt my chest jerk slightly and my heart skip a painful beat.

_Please…don't ever let this end._

I broke the kiss and dazedly stared at his lips.

"I—I love you," I whispered huskily, and without a second thought, I wrenched him closer to me and embraced his lips with mine.


	3. Chapter 2: Wading in Deep Waters

_Chapter Two_

_**Wading in Deep Waters**_

_Morning._ _**Already**? _

The sun was bright, shining glaringly against my eyes. I flinched and squirmed idly. Something soft brushed against my shoulder, my naked and unbelievably chilly shoulder. Some sound—close to whining—bubbled deep down within my throat, disturbing the usual silence that always accompanied sunrise. This morning felt oddly different than most mornings that greeted me when I woke up. I felt like a wobbly heap of broken nerves and indecisive feelings today. My head was throbbing uncontrollably, my eyes were burning and dry, and my throat was parched and tight. Yet, there was something. There was this one thing inside of me that felt almost placating, but reprimanding all together, like some maternal hand sweeping across my forehead while I was bed-ridden with sickness.

It almost felt like my mother's hand.

I sighed and made a feeble attempt to move. Something groaned underneath my shifting weight and I felt a comforting rush of relief wash over me. My bones popped and I held tightly onto the hem of my blanket, never really contemplating on the events that occurred last night. The only thing that sought refuge within my thoughts was bathing, soaking in hot bathwater teeming with sweet smelling bubbles.

_Yes, _I thought. My body tingled and shivered, _A hot bath is just what I need. Now, where's my rubber ducky…_

I swung my feet over the bed. The wooden floorboards felt like ice underneath my bare toes. 

Wait! Bare toes?

I peered down the blanket only to find my toes poking out from underneath its folds, wiggling happily. A frown settled between my eyebrows, yet my hold upon the blanket had yet to waver; I've never once went to bed without wearing socks.

My eyes widened. Like a crack of lightening in a dark, dismal sky, realization dawned on me. The events of last night came tumbling back down on me with a vengeance, flooding into my mind like some depressing nightmare, some indescribable drama. The only bad thing about it was that it was…real.

I took a sharp intake of breath and reluctantly peered over my shoulder. I felt some unknown feeling—probably nausea—wrap around me and my heart practically sank when I'd been able to identify the naked man beside me, partially covered in an unruly heap of blankets.

_Hojo._

His hair was a mess and yet his face was serene. He seemed completely oblivious towards the predicament at stake, but I could already feel the nauseating bomb inside of my stomach flounder, determined to drop. I swallowed past the mammoth lump in my throat. The feeling only grew more sickening and unbearable.

One minute passed and my feminine stamina finally slipped. The bomb wriggled against its restraints and dropped.

Fire in the hole!

I jumped out of bed, stark naked, and scampered across the room into the bathroom. I carelessly slammed the door shut behind me, too hurried to lock it, and hastily fumbled to lift up the toilet seat cover. Everything raging inside of me—the unspeakable stress…pain…and guilt—was unleashed in the company of the contents of my stomach. Finally, a peaceful moment of silence, of non-turbulence, surfaced around me when I felt myself coming back together piecemeal.

The moment was disrupted noticeably when the bathroom door creaked open behind me and my throat seized again. I stuck part of my face into the toilet and vomited roughly, comforted slightly by the strong pair of arms that wrapped around my kneeling posture from behind. I coughed and sat still for a moment, half-expecting to throw up again. But when I didn't, somebody flushed the toilet. I knew it wasn't me since I'd swaggered away from the commode just as soon as I was finished, and sat on the edge of my bathtub. My hair was a hysterical mess and I was bared without any womanlike discretion to watchful, brown eyes staring my way from where the toilet stood erected.

I guess since I'd lost a huge chunk of my consciousness during that queasy display, a part of me just didn't care that the brown eyes were sizing up my body like those of a lifeless doll.

"Are you…okay?" Hojo asked softly.

The caring lilt in his voice made me gulp roughly. "Y—yeah," I replied.

Hojo got up from the ground and strode towards me at a patiently fluid gait. He took a seat right beside me, but I tried my best not to notice. Wearily, I looked down at Hojo's green, plaid boxers, suddenly wishing I hadn't because my gaze veered to land on his crotch. He was semi-erect and I couldn't hold back the slight wave of nausea trying to resurface and impart from the very pit of my perturbed belly.

I sighed and turned the other cheek, just barely taming the wildfire raging beneath my cheeks.

The bathroom was very spacious, so space was easy to come by. The _Whirlpool_ jet tub that we were sitting on held enough room for me to inch slightly away from Hojo's partially nude legs. I didn't feel like making **any** kind of contact at the moment and he must've actually understood since he didn't move at all when I did. All he did was look at me.

"Are you sure?" he asked suddenly.

I nodded, somewhat meekly, and began to rub my left arm anxiously with my right hand. "Yeah," I spoke softly, carefully, "I'm sure."

Hojo bowed his head and everything was plunged in distressful silence, save the noises coming from the recently flushed toilet.

I was the first one to get up and make my way back into the bedroom. Hojo came out several minutes later and by then I was foraging through the drawers of my dresser for some…cover up.

He looked at me for a moment before brushing past me to search for his own clothes. A quiet hiccup got trapped in my throat when my skin grazed his own heated flesh, yet I willed myself not to care, not to feel, not to think. I was only concerned with finding a decent pair of clothes and lingerie, probably even a way to put this whole thing behind me and move on with my life.

Darn. Now that was expecting far too much.

It may've taken a few minutes, but I was able to find a cotton sports bra and a pair of baggy sweatpants that used to belong to Souta. I borrowed them constantly when I finally got into sports during my later college years in order to so-call "pacify my anger".

I started visiting a chiropractor two years after I stopped time traveling to the _Sengoku Jidai_. Stress caused my back and shoulders to cramp frequently. The doctor said that my stress was fueled by uncontrollable "anger convulsions," something that required a "sturdy impact" so that its vigor could become less defiant.

I bit my bottom lip gently as I reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a fresh pair of panties. The action only brought on a devastating surge of memory to shudder through my mind, but I quickly drove it out and sighed.

The rustling of clothes calmed me, if only a little bit. Hojo was somewhere nearby the bed and I could hear him, inhumanely loud and clear, as he tried to change back into his clothes. I, on the other hand, hadn't even gotten the chance to start. I was still left naked and flabbergasted, my mind roiling painfully. What I needed was an Advil, but I really didn't feel like walking back to the bathroom.

I peered over my shoulder, left too far beyond words. Quietly, I shoved in the drawer that I was currently ransacking, and turned around with the clothes that I'd grabbed, in my arms. Hojo was almost done dressing, yet he was missing his black shirt. Anything below the waistline was left undecided, yet I could see a glimpse of his jeans. They seemed wrinkled by the looks of it and I couldn't muster enough willpower to ask if he wanted me to iron them for him.

Suddenly, he looked my way, horse-black hair still tousled and wild. I blushed slightly and gulped before hurrying off to gather up my things from the floor and tossing them all on the bed. When I'd finished, I returned his tender gaze with a nameless one of my own.

"Did you…happen to…lose anything?" I asked.

A weak smile lit his lips. "Y—yeah," he answered, "My shirt and one of my socks."

I looked down dumbly, and then blushed furiously. There, before my bare feet, was a dark, preferably small package lying on the ground.

_One of my condoms, _I thought. Hastily, I stooped down and picked the package up with a dark grimace. I hurled it into the wicker wastebasket neighboring my work desk and silently began to put my clothes on. Hojo watched me with a slightly disturbed expression on his face. I ignored him and continued on changing. Seconds later, he resumed the task of looking for his sock and shirt.

Once again, silence engulfed us, yet outside noises were determined to shatter it. The shrilly chirrups of birds were beginning to get on my nerves and some minutes later I figured out that it wasn't exactly morning time, but 3 hours and 20 minutes into the evening. I missed work. Now I needed to call Arisu in high hopes that nobody noticed my absence. If not, then I could only assume that my boss would give me a second chance due to spontaneous sex urges.

Hojo and I were fully dressed by 3:32. I escorted him to the door and there was some strange feeling inside of me that rubbed me in all the wrong ways, that told me that goodbyes definitely weren't in order. However, he sprung a surprise one on me that practically startled me to death and had me in a grueling struggle for words. Somehow though, I got through it, "Goodbye, H—Hojo. It was nice seeing you again, too."

Soon, I realized that that was a **big** mistake on my part. Something within Hojo, which was undoubtedly triggered by either my body language or kind reply, must've tipped him off a bogus suggestion because after he said goodbye he anxiously rubbed the back of his neck and leaned in for a kiss.

Slightly taken off guard, I lifted up two fingers and covered his damp lips.

"Hojo…" I whispered, a faint warning in my voice.

He looked at me like an innocent child teetering on the verge of crying. Dear God, I hoped he didn't…

Surprisingly,—or unsurprisingly so—he didn't and he leaned back. My fingers left his lips and that gave me a chance to explain a few things, to probably even dig a thick boundary into that treacherous sand of friendship and lovers that we'd both managed to stumble into. Still though, I felt lost, alone in the dark. I was like a small toddler in the Sahara. Too lost to really find any hope at all in discovering that certain beacon of light.

"Hojo, I just want you to know that…that—" It was hard. I couldn't spit the words out because I kept on putting myself in his shoes. What if I were to hear a crude remark like the one I was preparing to say?

_I'd…I'd cry, that's what!_

But I'm a woman. I'm supposed to cry because of the flimsy barricade that separates my emotions and thoughts from the outside world. Duh. 

"Umm…Ka—gome?"

Jerkily, I shook my head and sighed. Hojo was staring at me again with eyes glazed over in worry. I inhaled slowly before permitting the words that I needed to say to come tumbling rapidly from my mouth, "Hojo, tonight was just a fling. I miss my boyfriend and the love that I feel for him has somehow caused me to end up in bed with you. There's not an ounce of love in my heart for you and I hope you can understand that. I hope that we will be able to put all of this behind us and…well…goodbye!" I tried to slam the door shut. Hojo caught it and shoved it back open. I never did think of him as the type to be that daring to disobey a woman's wishes, but there's always a first for everything. I was stunned as usual when he spoke.

"Kagome, please allow for me to escort you to a party tomorrow tonight. I'd love to see you again."

So it was true. He was still unbelievably dense. He hadn't heard a single word I said. That, or he purposefully decided not to hear them.

"Hojo, please understand." I said with partially disguised frustration. I just wanted him to leave, to forget all about last night. I didn't want to rupture his heart into tiny pieces for I already knew what such a feeling felt like, what type of impact that feeling could have on a person.

It would take several years, several years for his heart to mend, and I didn't know if he could use such pain as a lesson to learn from like I had. After all, I'd been dumped once. As for him…well…I didn't quite know how many times he'd been dumped. I didn't even know how many women he'd been involved with. 

"Kagome, I know last night was meant to be…" Hojo murmured dreamily.

"N—No it wasn't, Hojo," I spoke hastily.

"Please, Kagome," he murmured. He made a quick grab for my hand. I shrieked, "Hojo, please!" and unintentionally slapped him across the cheek. I gasped sharply and swallowed when I succeeded in stomaching the images before me—the sunlight gazing blindingly down on Hojo's face, revealing the bright red handprint imprinted over his cheek. And my palm aching, burning a light crimson.

_Oh God no._

"Hojo…" I took one step forward. He took one step back. He fondled the mark on his cheek, completely abashed.

I looked at him, hoping he'd say something, anything. Thankfully he did, but as for the constantly anticipated waterworks…

There were none.

"W—wow," he said, his voice so quiet that I almost couldn't hear him. 

Wordlessly, he stroked the blazing scar on his cheek and lowered his hand to stare at it bewilderedly. My mouth was wide now and I could only hope that I hadn't fractured anything delicate. Though it wouldn't have been that surprising if I had.

I'd never slapped anyone, excluding Kouga. I never really felt enough rage to just hit someone every single day. Probably I was finally going under those side-effects that my chiropractor said would happen if I decided to start taking the pills that he subscribed for my cramps. However, the likelihood of that were one out of a million. Firstly, I stopped taking the pills around three months ago. And secondly, I was pretty sure that I didn't have to visit a shrink before I could take the pills in the first place.

Hojo finally looked up, his eyes doused in sorrow.

"Hojo, I'm so sorry," I apologized slowly.

The hand that he was so closely examining furled into a tight fist and his entire arm grew limp. He looked down at the concrete beneath his feet before murmuring something lowly underneath his breath, "Don't forget about the party okay, Higurashi."

I heard him, but I didn't have the heart to give a reply. So with a quick whisper of farewell, Hojo left without me getting a single word in edgewise. I wanted to cry out a generous goodbye, but my throat constricted and I was left completely speechless.

_Darn it, Kag. How could you possibly get any stupider?_

During the entire day, my mind was continually revolving around Hojo and what I had done to him. I managed to call Arisu and, thankfully, Hitomi, my secretary, was there to cover for me that day. Unfortunately, my name was jotted down in the boss' day planner for an afternoon conference in his office, so I really needed to get my story straight before tomorrow rolled around.

As for the apology that I vowed myself to give to Hojo over the phone…I never was quite able to get around to that. I wasn't even sure anymore if his escort offer was still up for grabs, but there was a one-fifty chance that it still might've been.

_ii. _**Thoughts**

After yesterday, things were hardly the same between Hojo and me. He never did call me again and I never was able to pick up the only portable phone that I owned ever again. Because of it, I was able to accept Hojo's humble overture to go out and to so-called get "reacquainted" with him, which started this whole emotional mess in the first place. So I bought another phone, one with buttons installed in the base and a cord connected to the receiver. Lucky me, ne?

In order to celebrate the purchase of my new phone, I managed to collect the phone numbers of my dearest friends and jot them down in a journal that I kept ever since the start of college for hard times. Grandpa thought that the little book was the weed of a dangerous omen, but that only told me that he wasn't quite ready for me to leave the nest. He wanted me to remain the same little girl that always hopped into his lap, eager for a good, mythical story.

Sadly, that little girl had to grow up. That little girl became a woman who's been dragged in and out of the _Sengoku Jidai_, found new friends, survived treacherous escapades with an arrogant _hanyou_, and most of all found love. Too bad that that love occurred at the wrong time and in the wrong place. It just wasn't meant to be, and I was unable to disagree with those wretched results. I was rejected of love from a _hanyou_ who I was relatively sure would love me back. To my surprise, he didn't. Or I thought he didn't. I still wasn't quite sure.

Phones were ringing.

I was sitting behind the cherry-wood desk in my personal office space, swivel chair turned so that I could look out of the frighteningly vast window behind me. It was the only window in my office and it didn't have any draw curtains, so I couldn't block out the sunlight, which never bothered me up until now. Today was just one of those days when devastating migraines struck out of nowhere to start drilling a hole in my head. On days such as these, I began to wish for draw curtains and I began to pray for relief.

Though my head was throbbing immensely and something behind my eyes ached terribly, my getting out of my seat wasn't a big argumentative debate at the time. The incorporation was twelve stories tall. Every time I got up while looking out of the window, nightmarish images of me stumbling through the glass would flash through my mind. Thoughts like those scared me greatly and my legs were rendered helpless, incapable of going against my mind's wishes. When my mind said that I couldn't move, I couldn't move. Period.

"Hey, Kagome."

I wheeled the chair around slowly to face the gaping entrance of my office. Arisu was there, bleached blonde hair glistening brightly in the sunlight teeming in from the window. She was wearing a dark, two-piece suit that I immediately presumed came from _Bebe's_. She was never the type to shop cheap, and she refused to wear an outfit twice on the same week. I got to know her pretty well the first day I came here. After all, she was the first person who decided to walk up to me and ask me what my name was.

"Hey, Arisu," I greeted.

"So, are you going to the surprise bash?" she asked.

I was silent and gravely bowed my head. How could I have forgotten about such a thing? For the past month, it was the only thing that every single Symphonia Inc. employee gossiped about. But, I didn't feel like going. My heart just wouldn't be in it and when my heart's not in it, I'm a real party pooper. Plus, the party was supposed to be for all those who had invitations. There was no invitation in my mailbox today or the day before that, so why show up?

"Why would I want to go to some childish surprise bash anyway?" I mumbled, and then frowned, "Shoot, I didn't even receive an invitation to the thing."

"Because it's for a young billionaire," she pressed, "Probably…"

"Arisu, no," I groaned. Nonetheless, she still continued.

"Oh! And I heard he was about your age," laughter flooded her eyes in a glaze of warmth, "Probably he'll be the love of your life, that one fairy-tale man you told me you were searching for." She smiled. I frowned, but this one was reasonably pensive. She didn't have a single clue about what I meant by "fairy-tale" man. The hint was prominent within itself and if she were Sango, Miroku, or even Shippo, she would've understood that I plainly meant Inuyasha. I wasn't looking for a billionaire to excite me. I was looking for a certain demon with furry, white dog-ears to tease me with only the tender strokes of his skillful, claw-tipped fingers.

_I wonder if there's a 12-step plan for this, _I thought nostalgically.

"Look, why don't you think about it," Arisu suddenly spoke, instantly breaking me away from my straying thoughts, "I'll make sure to have them sign your name under mine as my visitor."

"W—wait! Arisu!"

It was too late. The unexpected deed was done and Arisu's wave of farewell had clearly exercised that fact. She left the office and shut the door quickly behind her, leaving me alone with only my thoughts to slowly overwhelm me, to gag me like water.

I vaguely remembered a couple of minutes later that Hojo had mentioned bringing me to a party just before I ran him off. Though, I was still pretty unconvinced that he would even take me.

_To go or not to go…_

"That…is the question," I murmured to myself.

_iii. _**Party Time**

Anger?

No.

Insecurity?

Not really.

Neutrality constipation?

Bingo!

I sighed heavily as I surveyed myself in the mirror mounted on the closet door in my bedroom. It was already 9:30 PM and the so-called "surprise bash" was about to commence roughly thirty minutes from now. I didn't want to go, but the tight, silken black dress that I wore protested otherwise. It cost close to $70 when it caught the corner of my eye at a small dress store in the mall. $70 was what tempted me to go and created some unusual flame of determination to kindle within my chest.

To me though, the dress was still beautiful. The jabot cascaded downwards in a small, baggy heap of creases along my chest, revealing some cleavage, which troubled me a little bit, however, the dress's curving was right on the mark. The only bad thing about it was that it had straps. I didn't hate them per se, but I wasn't quite fond of them either. I was one of those long-short-sleeved enthusiasts so straps were the enemy and not really the allies.

I smiled gently and looked down. The Stiletto heels that I wore felt painful and cramped, but I couldn't take them off. Unfortunately, they were the only shoes I owned that matched perfectly with my dress. Woe is me I guess.

Habitually, I tapped my foot against the floor just for good measure. As I suspected it would, the heel thrust firmly against my foot, which was painful as hell, so I stopped. I blew out a weighty sigh before turning around to grab my things off the bed.

_Tap. Tap._

I wondered if Hojo was coming to pick me up, but my confidence of that ever happening seemed dim and uncertain. I slapped him. I greatly doubted a man would come back to a woman that hit him just for grabbing her hand.

_Tap. Tap._

Inuyasha probably would've come back, but he carried grudges far too long. He would've just sulked and wasted the entire night away grumbling about me, undoubtedly calling me every single foul-mouthed name in the book. His favorite would've probably been "ungrateful wench."

Yeah. That hit the nail right on the head. It may've bent it a little bit, but it hit the nail nonetheless.

_Tap. Tap._

Quietly, I picked up my purse and leather coat and then shuffled out of the bedroom, turning the lights off behind me. On my way out, I discovered that the hallway felt unusually empty. Probably because I didn't have a chance to buy any pictures or decoration. Or partly because I felt cold and empty myself.

There was just something inside of me that gnawed at my innards, punishing me for some misdeed that I inadvertently associated myself with. Though I knew what that misdeed was, I didn't want to bring it up again, not if it meant having to deal with this pain twisting in my gut. I knew having a perfectly good time at the party would be asking for too much, but having to endure regret around those that didn't understand what you were feeling was something I was willing to avoid. I couldn't bear seeing those happy, confused faces staring at me all weird, steadily making me uncomfortable and queasy.

Nope, I was willing to steer away from all that.

Wearily, I opened the front door and stepped outside, nearly shivering. I didn't know tonight would be so chilly. It strangely suited the constricting feeling swirling around within my stomach. Though "chilly" was quite the understatement since it wasn't the only thing I was currently feeling.

I wrenched the door closed and locked it with my house key. Pulling my purse over my shoulder, I unzipped it, stuffed the key inside, and zipped it shut. Afterwards, I pulled on my jacket and started down the small, concrete stairway that stretched down to my driveway. My 2002 silver Cavalier awaited me at the bottom, but as I circled around to unlock the driver's door, a pair of shiny headlights suddenly lit up the dim driveway. An engine roared through the silence, a familiar roar I might add, and I turned around slowly with a dazed look on my face. I gasped sharply at what I saw.

Hojo's blood red Viper pulled up into the drive. He was gazing at me from the driver's seat, through the front windowpane. I felt myself stiffen, unable to move. From the looks of it, he was wearing the usual black and white tux and his hair was as unruly and neat at the same time as ever.

I smiled.

Silently, he got out of the car and rounded to open the front passenger's door for me. He placed one hand over his chest and bowed, left arm extending, plainly gesturing towards the unoccupied seat.

"I believe your carriage awaits you, young miss," he joked.

I blushed and wetted my lips before walking towards the car, immediately stopping in front of Hojo. He straightened and smiled, eyes tender and soft.

"Thank you," I murmured. I didn't know for what, but at the moment I could've said anything endearing and redundant.

"You're welcome," he replied in a rich, breathy voice that caused another smile to curl at my lips. Suddenly, he began to lean in, both steadily and calmly, head declining ever so slowly. I bit my bottom lip then released it. His lips caressed mine and this time, I allowed him to kiss me and, even more, I allowed myself to breathe in the spicy scent that was his cologne and exhaled a soft sigh. There were no protests, no unwanted touching. It was just a brief, chaste kiss that felt pleasurable and reacquainting, something that felt almost friendly and passionate at the same time. And when he pulled back I giggled softly and slipped into the car seat. He closed the door and walked around to his side. Believe it or not, when we pulled out of the driveway, I was still smiling and I had an eerie feeling that he was, too.

_iv. _**Fairy-Tale Man**

The party was magnificent, probably even perfect. It was held in a vast manor that undoubtedly belonged to the special billionaire. That, or his parents. I still wasn't keen on the idea of going since I still had reason to believe that the "special guest" was some spoiled teenager and his parents basically overlooked the entire party.

After Hojo pulled the car aside in front of several lengthy pair of staircases that headed up towards the wide stretching veranda, a valet was there to greet us. Hojo handed him the keys and slipped him, what looked like out of the corner of my eye, a $50 bill. I opened my mouth to say something, but, before I knew it, his large, calloused hand was escorting me up the stairs. It gripped mine confidently, yet still hesitantly. I was shocked to say the least and my grip strengthened a little bit when we walked into the large manor.

The mammoth-sized dance floor, or as I was led to believe, the Foyer, was bustling with activity. A sea of women and men formed, what looked like, an animated chessboard underneath all the expensive chandeliers with their black and white tuxedos and dresses. The room was beautifully lit and the marble flooring glistened primly, almost as if it was brand new, untouched by all the feet maneuvering across it.

Concrete pillars, decorated with irregular designs that resembled flowers, jutted out of the flooring ubiquitously. I looked on in absentminded wonder and I may've even been drooling when Hojo stopped and gazed at me with mirthful eyes. Surprisingly, I wasn't, but that didn't keep me from feeling like I was.

_What am I doing here? _I kept on asking myself every time Hojo gazed at me with those warm, chocolate-brown eyes of his. The question ricocheted off of the walls of my mind and echoed, repeating profoundly. Somehow, Hojo hadn't perceived the shift of expressions morphing across my face, but I could sense it perfectly. It was pretty difficult for me to think and keep a straight, steady face at the same time. That kind of talent not even Miroku, the alleged expert of feigning evil to feigning innocence in less than 3 seconds flat, could master.

Hours passed.

Hojo and I danced several times. After our last dance we departed from the table hunkered on the main floor and snuck upstairs towards a balcony connected to one of the bedroom suits. I was reluctant at first to leave the comfort the crowd, yet the feeling soon faded. Hojo walked slowly, him and me hand in hand as we marched upstairs. He probably didn't notice, but he earned some major brownie points for that courteous stunt.

The balcony was beautiful, the scenery even more wondrous and stunning. We were overlooking the hazy, but incandescent lights that speckled all of Tokyo, creating a cerulean boundary between it and the inky darkness swirling around up above.

Outside on the balcony, there was a small, iron table set outside, made solely for two. Strangely, it made me think of "Tea for Two," but I kept that little thought to myself.

There was only the ominous glow of the moon and stars as we sat down. An awkward silence settled between us, but I wasn't all that enthusiastic to break it.

Turning my head to the side so that I could face the city, I snuck a quiet peek of Hojo out of the corner of my eye. His face was turned the opposite way, fingers laced on top of the table. My fingers rapped against my lap agitatedly and I bit my lower lip softly, eyes never leaving his innocent face.

_Why am I here? I don't even love him, let alone_ **_like_** _him for heaven sakes. But now I find myself going out with him, acting as if we're a couple. This is the second time this week I've gone out with him. If I turned him down every single time he's asked me out in high school, why can't I do it now? What's wrong with me?_

"What am I doing here?" I murmured distractedly.

Hojo's eyes veered suddenly and rested on me.

I bowed my head solemnly, "I—I don't even like you for heaven sakes!" I didn't understand why, but those same exact words felt almost erroneous in some way. In my head, they sounded precise, but out in the open I guess things can change, even if it means turning from right to wrong.

"Really?"

Through the mesh of bangs covering my face, I gazed at him with a slight hint of disorientation crinkling my face.

"Is that really true?" he asked, "I mean…we've known each other for so long, far longer than you knew that boyfriend of yours."

I didn't fully understand how he knew just how long I knew Inuyasha and frowned slightly. "Where, exactly, are you getting at, Hojo?" I asked, a faint trace of anger in my voice.

"I—I really don't know," he replied and twisted his head the other way, avoiding my steely gaze.

A few minutes passed and my eyes softened gradually. I cupped his hands with my smaller one, yet the tidal wave of anger and confusion raging within me just barely receded. I tried my best to make it look like I was fine when really I wasn't.

"Hojo," I started slowly, "Inuyash—I mean—my boyfriend really wouldn't have liked seeing us together. That must be the reason why I'm with you right now, just to get even with him."

"How do you know he's here anyway?" His eyes settled on mine impartially. His expression seemed pained.

Suddenly, I felt myself rip in two as I gulped hard and flushed. "Honestly, I don't know. At most times we have this boyfriend-girlfriend connection going on and I can just tell when he's somewhere or if he's in trouble," I answered.

A contemplative sound rumbled deep down within Hojo's throat. I looked on meekly and he bowed his head, an unpleasant expression marring his flawless complexion. Though a light, rugged moustache lingered above his upper lip, I was still determined to call his skin flawless. It made me feel like I was still in high school, sulking about Inuyasha and what wrongdoings he'd committed, and out with Hojo because he was, strangely, the only friend I thought I could talk to, seek some stress-relief from. Too bad we weren't exactly being buddy-buddy at the moment.

"Did you love him?" Hojo asked.

I didn't answer. Instead, I turned the other cheek and inhaled slowly, breathing in the calming, but chilly night air.

"Do you think you can love me?" he spoke again.

I coughed and blushed. I heard the telltale screech of his chair as he moved out of it and walked to my side. He outstretched a questioning hand to me and immediately I heard his question with crystal-clear clarity. Though it wasn't put in simple words, it was translated through an even simpler action.

Music. The classical music sounding downstairs had drifted, wandered upstairs and down the hallway past the open balcony doors.

I returned Hojo's smile with one of my own and put my hand in his. He gripped it softly and pulled me up to my feet. We did a simple two-step, my head resting on his shoulder, spooned under his strong chin. A mysterious blanket of warmth enveloped us, but I hardly paid any attention to the change in weather or body temperature. I was only concentrating on the consoling hammering of his heart and the flood of pleasurable warmth radiating between our clasped hands and interlaced fingers.

Somehow, tonight felt magical to me, and every time I looked into Hojo's eyes I couldn't help but think the same went for him. Hojo might've not been Inuyasha, but it was a…nice change nonetheless.

_A nice change nonetheless, ne? What do you have to say to that, Inuyasha? _

Someone cleared his or her throat loudly from the doorway. I blinked, still dazed and drunk from the hidden nirvana stowed away inside my mind, to find a middle-aged man standing there. He must've been a bodyguard or security officer according to the professional, disciplined trim of his black and white uniform, but I kept myself from making any brass assumptions. Though, it was hard to stop deducing when I could spot the thin, black wire that traveled down from the guy's ear and disappeared into the collar of his jacket.

"Umm, excuse me," he started in a deep, authorative voice, "Mr. Tsukinaka is needed downstairs."

Hojo looked at the guy in the doorway and then looked back down to give me a regretful look. I smiled and backed away from him a tad to pat him jokingly on the shoulder, "It's okay. Go ahead."

He still appeared a bit unsure, but with a quick peck on the cheek, he was off. I stole a momentary glimpse of the city lights behind me before sighing and walking into the bedroom, closing the balcony doors behind me. Sluggishly, I strolled out of the bedroom and made my way back downstairs with nothing but my cumbersome and rhetorical questions to accompany me. I spotted Arisu with her date at a nearby table and decided to sit with them, just so I could keep from being lonely.

Several minutes later, the music stopped and the dancers froze. Arisu and I had started a conversation about the difference between poor and rich, but still handsome, men. I ceased in mid-sentence and immediately my eyes landed on the master staircase. Hojo was standing on the first stair. This time there was a different middle-aged man accompanying him.

I looked on bewilderingly.

The middle-aged man cleared his throat loudly as someone out in the audience handed him a wireless mike. Strangely, the man possessed some vague traces of semblance to Hojo, but there was a chance that it could've been a coincidence…right?

"Ladies and gentleman," the man started in a rumbling voice, "tonight I started this party as a way to celebrate my one and only son's 26th birthday. At every party that I've decided to commence, I always pull someone forward to give the customary toast," he paused and both he and Hojo exchanged peculiar father-son looks, "Tonight, the person doing so is my son. Please give him a round of applause."

Quickly, he handed the mike to Hojo and stepped down to fade away into the audience. The people clapped and I found myself clapping along with them, eyes both spellbound and eager. I didn't know Hojo was the son of a billionaire, but you didn't see me complaining.

Awkwardly, he tapped the head of the mike and the speakers gave a fleeting, bloodcurdling shriek. "Uh, hello to all those who have managed to come," he spoke, "Four days ago, I'd lost all hope of coming here with that special someone that my parents wanted for me. To my surprise, a woman that I'd met years ago in high school…rediscovered that hope. Though the love between us was never really among us then, I kept waiting for it to appear. I'd like to say that it has tonight, but really it hasn't."

I heard a few people cough. Suddenly, I felt a rush of guilt pour over me like a pitcher of hot, steaming water. I listened intently to Hojo's speech, gnawing worriedly at my bottom lip as he spoke.

"Someday I hope for that love to blossom into something even larger, but for now, I'm just enjoying the fact that she's with me tonight and that I'm able to stand by her side."

Some people seemed quite impressed with his speech as a few sounds of adoration hovered above the still audience. I smiled a girlish smile and bowed my head in order to hide the fiery blush creeping to my cheeks. The pressure of the blush steadily began to build and it almost felt searing.

"Though I've gone through so many trials and tribulations to become the man that I am today, one thing is evident and that is the love that I feel for this special woman that's suddenly reentered my life. And before I ramble on, let us please toast to the many triumphant battles that every one of us has witnessed in order to get this far."

I didn't have a champagne glass so I continued on looking at Hojo. For those that did, their glasses chimed like a melodic wraith in the vast room, which sounded peaceful and absolutely beautiful to my ears.

"Cheers!" And with that, the audience cheered loudly in unison with the heavenly ruckus of glass bumping into glass filling the room non-too loudly and non-too softly.

For once in my natural-born life, I felt like I was in heaven and I didn't need to visit the _Sengoku Jidai_ to treasure that feeling. I felt rather appreciative of myself for even being able to accomplish such a thing.

Probably Arisu was right. I needed a true, billionaire beefcake in my life. Deep down though, I knew she wasn't entirely correct. She was the one who said that rich men were better than poor men because they owned a lot of money and enough luxuries to essentially please any woman. To me, there was no difference between the two. Either way, they both had flesh, five fingers and toes, two eyes, and one nose. The only thing different about them was that they satisfied their women in diverse ways. Altogether, they seemed so different, yet so alike.

My mind strayed. I began to compare Inuyasha to Hojo and sighed gently, already wishing I hadn't done such a thing. 

"Inuyasha…" I murmured to myself.

_v. _**Letter**

When Hojo pulled up into my driveway to drop me off, a goodnight kiss was clearly anticipated, yet I decided on a gracious hug instead. He accepted it and there was no excessive arguing, no sneaky pecks on the cheek, or sly caresses. All in all, the hug was fairly pleasant and served as a satisfactory end to such an unforgettable night.

After our reasonably long cuddle session, Hojo and I both said goodnight and I slid out of the car. He didn't pull out of the drive until I entered the condo. I was halfway down the Foyer when I heard his engine roar down the street. With a goofy smile on my face, a type of smile that would've told anyone that I held a hidden secret that stubbornly refused to past my lips, I marched slowly up the stairs.

The whole condo was dark, save the light emanating from my bedroom. I didn't feel like turning on the hall lights or anything else for that matter. I clicked calmly into the bedroom and pulled my purse off of my shoulder to toss it blindly onto the bed.

_Wait! Did I actually leave my lights on before I left? _I pondered, and then frowned.

Nonchalantly, I chucked my jacket aside and wasn't fully aware of the unmarked envelope sitting on my bed until I sat down in my desk chair. I cocked my head confusedly and picked it up, observing it closely before opening it. Folded neatly inside was a handwritten letter.

The letter wasn't as neat as I presumed it would be. There were black, ink blotches randomly speckling the elaborate, beige-tinted parchment as if the person who had written it had did so by candlelight and had quite the field day on it.

Carelessly, I tossed the empty envelope aside and read it silently.

_Dear Kagome,_

_I miss you._

I went back to the old shrine and the scents that I'd thought I long since then remembered were gone. It may've taken me days, probably even months to track you down, but I can't believe I did. You smell just as beautiful as before.

Please, Kagome…

_Come back to me._

In Japanese calligraphy, the letter ended in a simple, tri-character word.

—_Inuyasha_

The letter slipped away from my quivering fingertips and slowly glided to the ground, hissing along the wood until there was nothing but silence. Something whispered—the wind maybe—and blew in my ear like a teenage lover. My thoughts seemed to stray away from that one feeling as I moved to sit on the edge of the bed, eyes staring listlessly into nothing.

_Is this…really…Inuyasha?_ I thought.

I clenched the soft, cottony material of my comforter and tugged, trying my best to hold my erratic emotions at bay.

_This…this has to be a joke or something, _I pondered, yet my doubts only thickened with that one insinuation, _No…it's not. But—But this can't be…real. This—this has to be a dream. _

A hot tear trailed slowly down my cheek.

"No," I mumbled. My throat felt tight and sore, "This is real…all of it…all of this is real."

The burning welling inside my eyes was slowly chased away by the cold wind pelting against my face. Absentmindedly, I turned my head to face the billowing curtains covering the open window alongside my bed.

_Oh, Inuyasha…_


	4. Chapter 3: Between Now and Then

_Chapter Three_

_**Between Now and Then**_

I'll admit it.

I was both shocked and upset when I discovered and read Inuyasha's letter, though I wasn't even sure if he really wrote it. I wanted to believe that a poltergeist or something like it had written the letter, but I greatly doubted that as a possibility. Yet I knew for a fact that Inuyasha wasn't into literature.

His brother probably was, however, his brother was everything that Inuyasha was not.

I found it hard to sleep that night and I never got a chance to close the window, basking in overwhelming anticipation that Inuyasha might come back while I was fast asleep. That, hopefully, I would be spooned against his lean, muscular body by the time I woke up to the soft rays of dawn. Sadly, when I stirred, he wasn't there, and the bedroom felt immensely chilly due to the unmistakable fact that I left the window open during the whole entire night.

I hugged the blankets closer to my body as I came to a more comfortable, upright position in bed.

A couple of days ago, the day I got my new phone, I connected an external caller ID to it. The phone was sitting on my desk, nearby my digital alarm clock, which plainly read 1:45 PM. Thankfully I didn't have to go to work today and wearily began to sink deeper underneath my blanket with intentions of nodding back off to sleep. That was before I realized that my eyes wouldn't close, solely determined to get me to notice the one number on my caller ID that kept flashing, in and out of existence.

I twisted my neck around to face the phone, shielding my eyes from the glaring sunlight with a random hand as I pushed myself upwards and craned my neck over the edge of my work-desk. A second later, I sighed heavily and slammed my head back down onto my pillow, happy when I felt its reassuring coolness flood up around my cheeks. I quietly listened to the dying groans slipping from the sinking bedsprings beneath me, desperately trying to escape the prominent, yet horrid fact hovering high above me like some repulsive vulture.

I knew whom the number belonged to, but it was a name that I hoped never to mention during a dire, lovesick crisis such as this one.

"Hojo..." I murmured to the ceiling above, "Why does it have to be him of all people?"

_ii. _**Guess Who**

Arisu wasn't at work at all the next day I came strolling into Symphonia Inc. One of my coworkers mentioned that she'd called in sick, which brought a hint of leisure to the tension steadily building up in my shoulders. I didn't want to admit to her that she was right…right about the fact that I would find that special, "fairytale" man of my dreams at a wealthy get-together where all the men, I brashly presumed, were at least over 40 and dating young women just for the sake of regaining their youth.

I sighed.

_I don't really know Hojo all that well though...excluding the fact that I sometimes talked to him in high school...to really say he's my special—_ I gulped—_man...do I?_ I hummed gently to myself as I punched in the up' button to the main elevator.

_He's...okay, but the fact still remains that I didn't see him as boyfriend' material back in high school. My eyes and...my heart...were only infatuated with Inuyasha at the time. But, now that I don't see him anymore, Hojo's suddenly became this absolutely perfect guy that—that I'd foolishly slept with...that I'd kissed and hugged like we were actually a real couple!_

The twin, metal doors to the elevator suddenly jerked open. I stepped in slowly, almost cringing in distaste when I heard the usual, crummy elevator music drift into my ears once the doors whisked shut and I pressed the 11th button on the control panel. The music may've not been entirely crummy, but it was classical from what I could tell of the melodic hum of violins and the relaxing shrill of flutes—the very type of music that they were playing at Hojo's so-called surprise bash.

I groaned, anticipation practically uncurling inside of me like some huge, lethargic cat poised to pounce at any moment. It could've been from walking around with a full stomach from lunch earlier that day, but I doubted that immensely. Since when did a full stomach give you peculiar, anticipation pains...or...cramps?

Fortunately, to my absolute satisfaction, the elevator stopped and the doors glided open. I walked out onto the carpeted walkway and started back towards my office with slow, patient steps, examining the design weaved into the carpet distractedly.

I never was quite fond of the carpet design that the incorporation chose. Despite the fact that it was somewhat beautiful and opulent, people who drank coffee while trying to get to their respective workplaces would often waste it and that very incident would cause unsightly brown stains that no one ever bothered to clean up to sprout all over its bright red center.

It truly and most definitely made my skin crawl, but I needed something to look at it in order to deter away from my thoughts.

"Good evening, Ms. Higurashi."

I looked up with a hint of surprise gripping my expression as I stepped into my personal, work quarters. My secretary, Tsusami, was sitting behind her desk with her tiny, almost colorless hand clenching the bottom of a phone receiver. She smiled lightly and I returned it with a very sparse one of my own that probably held some likeness to a strangely contorted frown. If it did then Tsusami didn't say a word as she resumed whatever kind of conversation she was having over the telephone. While she chattered on restlessly, I stalked across the room and slipped into my office without saying a word, closing the door gently behind me as to not interrupt her conversation.

_The only place I can run to,_ I thought to myself with an almost inaudible sigh. _No thinking about Hojo or Inuyasha or my love-life-gone-bad. All I have to worry about now is getting my paperwork done and dealt with._

I flopped down rather unladylike in my swivel chair and twisted and turned uneasily. It almost felt as if I was neck-deep in a human-sized bowl of batter, being churned mercilessly with an automatic mixer. My stomach drew slightly inward as something gnawed gently...then warningly at my sensitive innards. I sighed again and leaned back against my chair, quite satisfied with my earlier decision to wear jeans to work instead of a skirt. I hung my head back, the sun shining far-too happily in my eyes.

I squeezed my eyes shut and slowly began massaging my temples with very forceful fingers. The pressure and friction of it all was enough to dim the pain, if only a little bit. For that, I smiled as my arms dropped limply at my sides.

_Beep_.

"Maybe it wouldn't hurt to go out with him," I murmured to myself, "After all, I'm not seeing Inuyasha anymore and going out ought to do my heart some good…right?"

I sighed, despair suddenly finding a momentary, out-of-the-way refuge in my heart.

There was another beep.

Then another.

Then another.

My patience, the one trait that I was so well known for, was steadily running thin. Without moving my head, I felt around for the speakerphone button on my telephone. I counted the first row of assorted buttons as if it was an everyday chore.

1...2...3...4...

Bingo!

"Yes, Tsusami?" I murmured, my hand plopping back down into my lap as a sigh pried through my lips. I could already taste the bitter tang of my lip-gloss tiptoe furtively onto my tongue and gagged.

"Are you all right, Ms. Higurashi?" Tsusami suddenly asked.

I managed a brief nod, though I knew it was impossible for her to see that while she sat waiting for my response in the other room. "Yeah, I'm just fine," I replied.

There was silence.

"Well...umm..." she stammered, "The main desk just called. They said that there's someone here to see you."

"Really..." I answered breathily. I hated to think who it might be, but most of my insinuations were unexplainable and unverified, "Tell the main desk I'll be down there in a second, okay Tsusami?"

"Okay." The line clicked and immediately went dead. I turned off the speakerphone and tried my best to gather the rest of my fractured nerves by running a hand down my face and groaning.

_Please don't let it be who I think it is._ I moved my mouth from left to right out of pure habit and then did the same with my nose. My mother always did say I was going to catch wrinkles by doing that, but I was somehow immune to them just like I was with chicken pox...that is...before I entered the 7th Grade.

I smiled grimly.

Goodness knows I missed her and grandpa so much.

Getting out of my desk chair and making my way back towards the elevator, I kept on hoping (maybe even praying) that Hojo wasn't down there waiting for me. When the elevator jerked and made its long journey back down to the main floor, another thought came to mind and I nearly slapped myself upside the head, _I should've asked Tsusami for the person's name. Maybe then I could've avoided being seen if I'd told her to tell the main desk and my special guest that I was still out at lunch._

"Damn," I cursed just as the elevator jolted to a stop and its doors swiftly glided open. I almost felt like closing my eyes as I stepped out onto the conspicuously hard linoleum that calmly detested my presumption that this was just a dream...or even a horrid nightmare. Though my eyes didn't stay close for long, I could already imagine myself nearing closer to the main desk.

Eyes half-lidded, I ran into something hard—and as I desperately felt around—with muscles. Subtle, but fairly noticeable muscles.

Meekly—_uncertainly_ if you want to include the profuse puddle of embarrassment pooling deep down within my stomach—I looked up into the chocolaty brown eyes of—

"_Souta_!" I gasped. The woman behind the main desk spared me a startled glance, but I casually ignored her and the strange frown on her face.

"The one and only," he chortled heartily, the sound of it all still ringing with sonorous innocence.

"Wow...umm..." I started to look around and beamed triumphantly when my eyes rested on the lounging area nearby the astonishingly tall, cathedral-looking window to the front of the building. I quickly grabbed Souta's hand, "C'mon!" Quickly I dragged him off to the large, crimson couch sitting in between a circle of matching armchairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Souta and my grip nearly slackened. He was gawking. The look on his face was unbelievably priceless...memorable...juvenile...

And absolutely _hilarious_!

I giggled softly…maybe even loudly. I couldn't really tell until I received a couple of strange looks from most of employees just coming in from lunch. But I wasn't the least bit embarrassed. Honestly, it was quite on the contrary.

To see my brother there...in his entire, innocent, boyish grandeur was enough for me to slip off the brink that separated adults from children. But did I mind? Not really.

I smiled broadly at Souta as he and I plunked down onto the soft, velveteen cushions of the couch. I could've sighed when I felt those cushions brush against my back like the phenomenal touch of a masseur...with careful...bashfully moving fingers sporting razor-sharp...claws.

My smile died suddenly in the vast stream of sunlight coursing through the windows. Souta stopped laughing and looked at me with a great deal of concern, "Ka...gome...?"

My face scrunched up and I bowed my head to evade his unwanted gaze. A lonely tear scorched the inside of my eyelid and slowly traveled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away with my hand.

"I'm fine," I whispered, and my voice almost cracked.

"Ya sure?" His brown eyes were glistening beautifully now in the dancing sunbeams..._tantalizingly_ if we were both unrelated strangers and I was a woman deprived of any kind of love life whatsoever.

_If only…if only I didn't have a life…_

I sniffled pathetically. "No worries. I'm just fine," I lied.

Souta was silent...I was silent...and phones were softly ringing in my ears.

_Ring. Ring._

_Ring. Ring._

_Ring..._

I was shaking, teetering helplessly on the verge of yelling my head off and wrenching my hair out of my head. An arm...a thick and hairy arm...wrapped gently around my shoulders in reassurance. I didn't shrug them off, even when they made a timid attempt to pull me closer against Souta. Instead, I smiled softly, but in Souta's eyes, it actually looked like an unshakable frown and his concern mounted considerably.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"For what?" I looked up at him. The moistness welling in my eyes had finally withered away, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what made you cry?"

He'd known! I was so sure he couldn't see the pain...the misery..._my_ misery...and the torture...and my tears—

"I... I just remembered something. Don't worry about it." I smiled a fake and almost emotionless smile.

Souta didn't seem to care and moved his eyes away from mine to look out of the window, "You're still the same."

Huh? "Same what?" I asked, eyes slightly wide.

He was silent. Don't get me wrong...it wasn't that brief, poignant kind of silence that always pursues after one of those dismal moments...but it was lengthy. Unbelievably...aggravatingly...despicably _lengthy_!

"Souta..." I murmured. Or was that growled?

A smile broke out over his face. My control was rapidly running thin...so very thin. When he refused to open his mouth during times such as this, restraint seemed oddly distant. Every time I mumbled something that came very, _very_ close to being indecent, his smile only grew and my anger elevated, lapping dangerously at the surface. My fingers itched to curl into a tight fist and wham him upside the head just so I could wipe that silly grin off his face. Oh how temptation betrayed me so...

I sighed...

He chortled...

I poked my lip out and started to sulk.

"Okay, okay." He finally caved in. "I just noticed that..." he stammered, "that..."

"Yeah..." I leaned in closer...and closer until I was sure I could hear every single word that slipped off of his tongue. I was determined...strangely determined at that...to hear what he had to say.

"You must still miss him," he suddenly spoke, and his eyes veered sharply to rest on mine.

"W—what? What are you talking about, Souta?" I was fully flushed now, but not out of embarrassment.

"That guy," he briefly replied before a sly grin curled his lips and his eyes narrowed suspiciously, "That must be why you're blushing."

I looked at him with wide eyes, outright clueless. Where was he exactly getting at?

"What guy!" I yelled, "I'm blushing completely out of frustration!"

I received a couple of looks from the main desk personnel again, but still could've cared less.

Souta chuckled, "You know…Inuyasha onii-chan. You still miss him, right?"

My eyes narrowed. My heart stopped. A strange look, I was sure, crept furtively onto my face—

Then my blood boiled…and something—like a warm, dry dishrag—was pressed against my breastbone, all but properly scrubbing at my insides. Naturally I cringed, but that one reaction didn't keep me from sourly glowering up at my _kid_ brother. Though he was only 4 years younger than me, and quite strangely at times acted somewhat older than me, he was still and forever will be my little brother. Undoubtedly, it was my natural birthright to be the oldest and take on more responsibilities than the youngest sibling, and my pride would most rather wallow in disappointment of losing a duel to Kikyo than hand that right over to Souta.

After all, I constantly got a kick out of still being able to tell him what to do after all these years…

"I—I won't even dignify that ill-mannered comment with an answer." I folded my arms and crossly turned the other cheek, mumbling, "I advise you to never ask that question again."

Souta looked at me with wide, owlish eyes. His gaze barely faltered and the smile on his face slowly died into a disorientated frown, "I was so sure you still missed him—"

"W—wait a minute!" I moved to confront his sparkly eyes, realization falling down on me suddenly, "At Mama's funeral you...you said that...that..."

"Oh," he bluntly murmured, "I was just pulling your leg."

I gawked.

"After all," he continued with a youthful smirk, "how could I forget about my first, real hero?"

I was more than ready, more than willing to give him a conscientious, but ridiculously childish tongue-lashing when I felt some mysterious, ghostly hand clench my throat in a tough stranglehold. My voice was instantly swallowed whole in its clutches and I felt myself wheezing, trying my best regain some control over my racing mind and the unsteady pulsing of my heart. Strangely, on its own accord, my hand fisted itself in the chest of my shirt.

"How could you?" I asked contemptuously through gritted teeth.

Souta flung me a strange look, "What are you—?"

I bowed my head to conceal the flare of anger kindling in my eyes, "How could you lie like that...and at Mama's funeral?"

I did the only thing I could do when fury overwhelmed me—

I balled my hands into severely tight fists. My knuckles were glowing a deathly white just as I heard Souta stumble over his words.

"Ka—Kagome! W—what's wrong with you! I just didn't want you to get heartsick while dumping your whole focus onto him. You were already in so much pain…"

I couldn't explain the ache that suddenly enveloped my throat and caused my jaw to clench. Could be the fact that I was completely speechless, overwhelmed by the unrelenting waves of anger lapping at my insides without any leniency whatsoever.

"Look..." I spoke softly, tentatively, "I'll just go back to work. I'm sure you know the way out, ne?"

"Kagome..." Souta quickly seized my wrist just as I eased off the couch and started to make my way back to the main elevator. I looked at him insensitively, but he looked at me exactly the opposite, rebelliously contradicting my gaze like a child who's finally grown tired of forcing things to go his way. I wanted to wrap my fingers around his neck and throttle him hard and mercilessly for that simple action.

He was the cause of this sudden pain rushing through my body in an uncontrollable maelstrom of emotions. I just wanted it...to stop.

"Kagome…" he started again, probably hoping that I wouldn't make a frustrated attempt to snatch my wrist from his unsure grasp and stomp back towards the elevator doors, "If I knew that was going to make you angry…I wouldn't have…shouldn't have…"

"Souta!" I yelled, all while both my patience and composure snapped with the careless tug wrenching at my heart, forcing it to sink deeper and deeper into the darkness…distortion…corruption…bitter coldness that had settled in the depths of my stomach, "You just don't understand...do you?"

Souta looked at me in a way I've never seen him look before. I couldn't really tell if the look on his face was one of sadness...betrayal...or confusion, but it did look pain-stricken and roughly frolicked with my heartstrings.

My brown eyes bored angrily into his until minutes crept stealthily by and his grasp suddenly slackened. My mind, unfortunately, was stuck between a grueling stalemate of moral and immoral decisions. I didn't know if I could leave, playing on the foolish insinuation that my mind had concocted, or if I could make a fearful, mad dash for the elevator. I wanted to leave, believing that Souta was the cause of this pain...this incurable, excruciating knot in my back and abdomen, that he was the cause of this electrifying anguish that always washed over me every time my heart beats.

I wanted lies. Sweet, little, deceiving lies to whisper against my ears and impishly tease my earlobes with its blistering breath.

Yes…that's exactly what I wanted. And so I whispered, "Bye, Souta" and ran towards the elevator, this time paying close attention to the odd looks that the main desk personnel was tossing my way and the monotonous ringing of the telephones following me in my wake, somehow growing louder and louder as I ran farther and farther away from the truth.

_iii. _**Shopping Spree**

The mall…

I always felt at home in a vast building swarming with countless people that didn't know a single thing about my past or me. It was the closest heaven that I could seek from the nerve-wracking confinements that littered both Hokkaido and my pleasant-dreams-turned-nightmares. I could always come here...be happy...be carefree...think about the irritatingly strict budget that I'd put myself on a few months ago…and never worry about having to run into Inuyasha or **any**one for that matter.

I hadn't heard from Hojo in three whole days. His calls were undoubtedly replaced by those of Souta trying to check up on me to see if I was still angry. Though I didn't answer a single call, I wanted to tell him that my rage had finally blown over, but the worst was sure to come. There was just something simmering somewhere deep down within me like a feminine sixth sense. I didn't exactly know where to pinpoint it, but I was sure I could feel it. And though I was strongly determined to think that it was just my sacred powers going haywire, I already knew that that was impossible. After my mother called for someone to seal the well due to so-called "evil happenings," and after the pulsing presence that were mainly associated with the sacred jewel shards had left my body completely...my powers had gradually grown dormant until I was no longer able to use them anymore.

I sighed as I pulled back yet another dress, hardly satisfied with the message it was sending me through its very low-necked design. But what was the use? Even if I did find a gorgeous dress that I really liked, a certain budget kept on creeping into the foremost recesses of my mind. Fortunately, that didn't keep me from rushing into the nearest dressing room and slipping on the very first dress that sparked my interests.

The entire room was empty when I slipped in. Quickly, but quietly, I entered the nearest stall and began changing, lying my things on the bench attached to the wall opposite the door. Since there was no mirror in the very small cubicle, I went outside to look at myself in the one hoisted on the farthest wall to the left. I couldn't say I wasn't happy with the barefooted image staring back at me through so-called mirror-land. Her toes wriggled as she cheerfully twirled around and around, her eyes sparkling with mirth as she saw the dress levitate into the air and ripple like rich silk.

It was red, the sinister color of blood, a color that I presumed a long time ago was Inuyasha's favorite. Hanging from my shoulders by thin, satiny straps, the dress was a beautiful contrast to my hair and it didn't radiate "needy" or "desperate and lonely old woman." Thankfully, it was just right, yet—

"You must really like that dress?"

"Yeah, but…" A frown settled between my brows. I wheeled around sharply to face the open entrance to the dressing room, suddenly recognizing just whose voice drifted into my ears. My eyes were wide, one gasp away from nearly bursting out of their sockets, "H—Hojo!"

He looked at me with an aggravatingly peaceful aura shining around his expression. His dark business suit, completed with mud-brown, dress shoes, served enough for me to cock my head slightly in confusion. What was he doing here? I was so sure he worked a far, _far_ ways from here.

"What are you doing here?" There was no surprise in my voice, just impassiveness.

"Hey, Hojo, did you find her yet?" A woman yelled, each word slowly gaining in volume with the gentle pitter-pat of footsteps. More thumps echoed behind the woman's steady footfalls, but

I quickly shoved that clearly insignificant thought to the nether chambers of mind as my heart suddenly wrenched in remembrance. I nearly felt myself stumble as the woman emerged out of the frail gloom of the entry corridor and stopped beside Hojo. She still looked the same, almost as if her former high school self was incased in a special, laminated covering, untouched by the crinkly, gnarled fingers of age. The only thing different about her was that she'd let her hair grow out until it just barely brushed her shoulders. Still though, that didn't change the traditionally tomboyish look on her face.

"Y—Yuka?"

She only looked at me with eyes dancing eloquently in friendliness and mirth.

"I can't believe it's...you," I murmured softly, almost dreamily as if I were stuck in an irrevocable moment of passion.

She smiled a semi-girlish smile and I returned the favor with equal ardor, even though it held some semblance to a distressful frown. I couldn't help it if every time I smiled it looked like a frown. Most of my school pictures were exact, living proof of that unpleasant gap in my personality.

"Hey! What about us?"

_Huh._ My eyes remained sturdily glued on the entrance of the dressing room as two more figures wandered out of the half-gloom: one with long, wavy hair and the other with stringy, shoulder-length hair bounded back by a yellow hair-band that greatly matched her—_remarkably adorable_—sundress and sandals.

"Eri...Ayumi..." My eyes narrowed slightly, "What are you two doing here?"

Their eyes gradually became very gaunt slits filled with puddles of piercing brown.

"What do you think, Kagome-chan?" Eri started. Her seemingly rhetorical question was quickly, without a hitch, resolved by Ayumi, who'd somehow managed to startle me with the elusive, presumably fast-as-light speed it took for her face to close in on mine, "That we just came here for our own health?"

I scratched awkwardly at my cheek with my index finger and blushed lightly, "Well...yeah."

Both of them exchanged rather skeptical glances and I grinned innocently, hoping that my reply didn't sound all that serious. Discreetly, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Hojo beaming, obviously amused by the _un_planned, _un_rehearsed performance before him. I almost—_Almost,_ I screamed at my belligerent conscience—smiled in spite of his handsome show of happiness.

Sadly, I was so caught up with what was occupying the corner of my eye that the crazed-romantics that were my friends, bunched together like a flock of pigeons and started whispering.

Whispering. Now that usually wasn't a very good sign.

I bowed my head and snippily stifled the obtrusive cough that escaped my throat, "Ahem!"

Immediately, they stopped their endless gossiping and simultaneously twisted their necks to face me.

Wordlessly, I marched towards Hojo and automatically dispelled his shocked expression out of my mind as I seized his arm and led him towards the dressing room entrance. Playfully, I shoved him halfway down the entry corridor, leaving him to turn around and stammer, "W—what? But...Higur—"

"Kagome."

"B—But, Ka—Kagome!"

Without turning around to face him, I softly murmured, "No men allowed. The last time I checked it clearly said _**Women**'s Dressing Room_, not Men's."

Unable to resist the heavy mantle of temptation pressing down on my gut, I willed my footsteps to slow and peeked inquiringly over my shoulder. In the gloom, I was just barely able to make out a soft smile that brushed Hojo's lips like silk and abruptly slipped out of existence as he wheeled around and started further down the narrow passageway.

I opened my mouth…

Not a word slithered past my lips as Hojo vanished out of earshot and around a blind corner. My shoulders slumped as I pivoted and started back for the dressing room.

"So...are you going out with him now?"

"Yeah! Did you finally decide to give up on that badass boyfriend of yours?"

"It's a good thing that he dumped you though, right? I mean...it'll give you a chance to get better reacquainted with Hojo!"

"By the way, did he finally ask you to marry him?"

"Or are you both just going steady?"

I was suddenly bombarded by so many questions when I returned to the dressing room that a flimsy, white—_Dear God! Am I that weak?_—flag came close to being my one and only savior, the only thing that could help me elude their endless, nonsensical blathering—

"So...are you two intimate yet?"

My eyes suddenly grew wide. _Intimate? Why me, why me, why me?_

"Umm..." I tried to concentrate hard and unwaveringly on my bare toes, suddenly lacking the ability to hide the ripe blush rising over my cheeks, "we're not exactly...umm...intimate."

I tried to pretend I couldn't see their sly, clearly secretive smiles.

"Really?" Eri started, "Then why is he here?"

I coughed, which honestly sounded like a sharp, incredulous gag, "Why are you _all_ here for that matter?"

"We saw you walk in a little while ago from a nearby shop."

_Wow…how could I have ever forgotten that my friends also live in Hokkaido? I mean, they were the ones who pressed me to live here…_

"What about Hojo? How'd he..." I blushed even harder, unable to subdue the building pressure lingering beneath the blistering, oversensitive skin of my cheeks, "How'd he...get here?"

Strangely, Yuka was the only one to answer that question. Her voice was sullen and sounded hoarse, almost as if each word were scraping against her throat like sandpaper. "He said that he was with someone, but then we dragged him along anyway."

"Yeah," both Eri and Ayumi hastily confirmed in unison, nodding their heads vigorously.

I sighed, hope suddenly filling my heart to the brim with its comforting and ghostly caresses. Its fingers fondled my heart with such preciseness and carefulness, almost like a mother cradling her child straight after birth. Strangely, I didn't know where in my body it was weeding out from, breeding with such incredible speed. And without saying another word, I slowly...solemnly marched back into the dressing-room stall to change out of the dress I'd somehow lost all affection for.

_iv. _**A Change in Plans**

The entire store seemed abnormally brighter and radiant once we departed from the dressing room.

Leaving Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka behind, I quickly wandered off to place the dress back on the rack before stealthily slipping out of the store, hoping to find Hojo, if not in a nearby store then...somewhere. Pain flared behind my eyes like bolts of lightning each time I blinked to escape the bright rays of the sun wafting in through the vast window situated above the mall entrance.

It's funny...the obvious scrap of verity bubbling deep down within my stomach and quickly warming the very sole of my beating heart.

"_You're jealous,"_ part of my obstinate conscience pressed.

"_No! You're just worried,"_ its more understanding and congenial counterpart quickly opposed.

"_You're even jealous about fact that Inuyasha could be with Kikyo right now...bedding her...whispering sweet nothings in her ear..."_ some other strange part within me drowned out their wrangling voices and suddenly left me completely abashed. Out of the blue—out of the clear...warm...radiant...ocean-blue...—something finally struck me hard in the head and caused my temples to throb excruciatingly.

My—My heart was beating...fast and loud...hammering mercilessly against my chest.

W—was I jealous? Was I jealous of the truth settling right down in front of me, before my knowingly deceitful eyes? Was I jealous of the veracious piece of evidence falling into my line of vision one by one, furtively slipping in and out of existence like tiny raindrops?

I shook my head. Mentally, I even pictured myself throttling my heart half to death for triggering such inane emotions to pulse through my veins and lance thoughtlessly through the very core of my soul.

"Hey, Kagome!"

I didn't turn around. Truth was, I _couldn't_ turn around even if I'd wanted to. My emotions seemed to weigh down on my limbs like the primitive, barbell bracelets that prisons bounded on their many unfortunate captives.

"Why'd you leave us like that?" Eri reached me first, followed by Ayumi and Yuka taking up the rear.

One word. That was all I was capable of. "Thinking," I replied.

I was quite aware of the perplexed looks that all three of them exchanged circumspectly among one another. Later, they shrugged their shoulders concurrently and I sighed. There were times where I constantly wished that they knew what was going on inside my head. There were even times that I wished that I told them more about Inuyasha, about the fact that he's really from the _Sengoku Jidai_, that he's truly not a badass' and can be, at some times, very generous; that the many sicknesses that my grandpa informed them about were all lies, and that I visited the _Sengoku Jidai_ regularly through means of a time slip disguised as an ancient well.

"Hey, there's Hojo!"

My eyes widened slowly. Covertly, I could feel the mounting torrent of surprise and relief gushing through my veins.

"W—wait!" Out of the corner of my eye, I could just barely make out Yuka's form as she squinted hard at something up ahead with a very pensive frown plastered on her face, "Wh—who's that...girl with him?"

Something, a murderous and distinctly brutish hand, mercilessly seized my heart. My air supply lacked considerably in reliance, gradually growing harder and harder to use by the minute.

_A—A girl? Could she be the one that they mentioned back in the dressing room?_

I wanted to say something. Really I did. But my throat had tightened on me so abruptly that I found myself straining to keep my wheezing under wraps from any ears that may've been on full alert. I made several, discreet attempts to gulf down the achy feeling lingering in the center of my throat. Each one proved futile, leaving me to glance from left to right to see if Eri, Ayumi, or Yuka had noticed the sudden grief scorching a hole through my heart.

An inexplicable coolness swept across my face and bare arms. I was alone now.

_A—alone?_

My head shot up, but my words were held steadfastly deep down within my throat. The walls that were my innards—blood-slicked and dripping red—convulsed...constricted...and unknowingly grew taut.

_Thump. Thump._

There went my heart...singing that age-old tune that would soon deteriorate into that unforgettable path that spiraled downwards into a cavernous void of silence.

"Kagome-chan!"

_Crash!_

There went the blank and dreary emptiness that was silence. It crashed...falling in razor-sharp, glasslike fragments around me. It littered the ground to where I became the only witness of its namely terrible crime.

There was the girl, I realized. Waist-length, raven hair...lipstick glistening an innocent, angelic hue of an unripe peach...eyes sparkling with mirth and laughter—

Kikyo was the first thing to pop up inside my mind. I—I remembered how cool her fingers felt when they first brushed along the front crook of my neck—

_So cold..._

But then...realization suddenly struck me while those unmerciful roots roughly embraced me in their rain-slicked, but boorish clutches, holding me just above the frigid darkness that lapped at the grimy walls on either side of my dangling feet.

_She's...she's taking the sacred jewel shards away from me!_

While seeing that girl with Hojo, I was reliving that excruciatingly disastrous night all over again.

"Kagome...chan..."

My previous thoughts floated loftily above me as if they were Satin's tiny minions, whispering sinister thought after sinister thought into my gullible ears.

_Yes, yes..._murmured one, _let go of all that green envy inside you...just let it erupt._

_Boom!_ The other one bellowed. Apparently, it was the dim-witted one, only trying to push me further over the edge.

And it was working out all too well.

_Thump..._

The rhythmic and energetic beating of my heart ceased. My heart spared only one more frail thud against my chest before growing somberly, yet dangerously silent. My entire chest was swallowed whole in the clutches of a disparaging ache.

Darkness.

Yes. That was the only word that came to mind as I felt myself fall to the ground, crash down into the ice-cold linoleum. A sharp pain rocketed through my left shoulder to the very crook of my neck where it spooned upwards and merged with the scanty underside of my cheek. I felt my face scrunch up reflexively, but then, strangely, that was the last message of feeling conveyed to my brain as unconsciousness slowly lulled me into an unexpected sleep.


	5. Chapter 4: Of Memory's Past

_Chapter Four_

_**Of Memory's Past**_

_Beep. Beep._

"_In—Inuyasha?" I could feel my heart slow—no—my heart hitch in a frantic attempt to figure out why there was so much coldness surfacing around me…around my naked body. From what I could tell, I'd aroused at the most godforsaken heart of darkness where the brain and heart ran far slower than usual. The firelight was finally squelched by the cool waft slipping in through the reed-flap that served as a door for the small hut. The few pieces of wood that I was so sure Inuyasha had stoked the fire with had finally diminished down into fowl-smelling cinders that nearly caused my nose to crinkle in distaste._

_I tugged the rough, rancid smelling blanket tighter against my body, wincing in pain when I'd realized that I was pressing it too hard against my breasts. My eyes were glued on the flap that was fluttering crookedly within the gentle winds. I could feel my heart clench when I'd peered out of the corner of my eye just to take in the perceptible fact that Inuyasha was gone and I was alone…ensnared by pitch-black darkness and idiotically entranced by only the faint slapping of a reed-flap._

_Absentmindedly, I got up and made my way to the hut's entryway, which seemed to make me fall under the illusion that it might close in on me if I tried to step through it. Though I'd tried constantly to remind myself that it was still—and always will be—seven inches wider and a whole foot taller than me, something within me still proved persistent to force me under the impression._

_Carefully, I padded barefoot onto the very small veranda, impulsively wobbling on the tips of my lacquered toes. I'd painted them a short while back in my time. For once then, the television set was the only thing entertaining me besides my homework._

"_Inuyasha?" I murmured hesitantly. Spookily, the trees shook and moaned and whispered, almost as if they were mocking me without a reason in the world warranting their ignorant actions._

_Out of fear, and maybe even out of habit, I pulled the blanket tighter around my body and tugged what was left dragging behind me to the front as I stepped barefooted off of the veranda and onto the moist ground. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard the forest roil around me…practically burst into a shadowy display of puppetry. Their gnarled boughs trembled and seemed to outstretch farther beneath the deceitful light of the moon._

_I gulped, completely scared out of my wits. That was before the distant, otherworldly sound of splashing water drifted into my ears._

"_In—Inuyasha?" I slowly made my way deeper into the forest, hardly acknowledging the fact that I didn't have a flashlight with me and that my backpack was…well…back at the village._

_The splashing became louder when I neared the edge of the forest. A flood of silver light blinded my eyes for a quick second when I'd arrived at a large clearing that was probably no larger than 150 by 100 yards. In the middle of it lay a comfortably large hot spring with a naked occupant wading through its steamy waters._

_I felt myself stiffen when I'd been able to register the person's trim waist and curvy backside. My heart practically stammered when I caught the barest of movement of his muscles as they coiled briefly and then slackened._

_The moon._

_Right then, with its reflection rippling along the hot spring's surface like some hazy apparition, my lips curled upwards into a scanty, but tender smile—_

_ii. _**Between Stronger and Strongest**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I squinted my eyes hard to block out the faint light trying to seep beneath my lids. I'd hoped that the action would force out the infernal beeping frolicking with my eardrums, but it didn't.

_Beep. Beep._

"Is she awake yet?" somebody whispered—a soft, sympathetic voice.

"Not really," came an answer. _So rich, so deep_, my mind whispered.

I tossed my head jerkily and groaned in pain when I felt a sharp sting shudder up my right arm and dissolve at the crook of my shoulder. My temples were throbbing ruthlessly, sadistically. My heart was burning, pining for something to dull the pain.

"W—water," I rasped, my eyes still closed.

"W—what did she say?" I heard a familiar voice stammer diffidently.

Again, my voice scraping harder against my throat, I spoke, "Water…"

"Here." I listened quietly as someone sat a plastic cup down on the nightstand beside me. I twitched irritably at the pain gnawing tortuously on my brain as if it was some succulent chew toy. Reluctantly, I cracked my eyes open just enough so that I could see the slurred outline of the pinkish cup. I made a weak attempt to grab it with my right hand, but the pain shooting through its veins was enough for me to whimper in agony and shy away from the bedside table.

"Oh no! Kagome-chan, are you okay?"

I immediately recognized the voice once my mind fully registered the question, though it was slightly muffled by some imaginary alarm clock that just now decided to go off inside my head, causing my migraine to worsen and my temples to squall out in anguish. Feebly, I croaked, "I'm…okay…I…guess. Thanks…for asking, Eri."

"The doctor said that you might feel a little bit sore due to the pain-killers he'd given you a few hours ago." Eri explained quietly.

_Humph. A lot of good those did me_, I thought derisively.

I couldn't believe how much effort it took for me to open my eyes wider in order to sharpen all of the blurry images dancing like wiggly earthworms in front of me. For a moment, pain didn't seem to describe it since the room was dark, and the only light was that of the moon's shining through a nearby window. It was so soft and fell upon the small, unoccupied space of my bed in an unwieldy line.

I looked at it, unwaveringly, dreamily ensuing its path up and down as if it was something far too abnormal to be a part of this world.

"_In—Inuyasha," I heard his name slip softly from my lips._

_That night, I saw Inuyasha's imposter smile daintily before he dropped a kiss on my swollen lips. But I wanted to believe he was the real deal. That he was actually Inuyasha as I felt his hands glide slowly down my abdomen, gasping briefly when his lips idly wandered southward to the jugular of my neck and suckled gingerly._

_His muscles were tightly coiled when I ran my hands over his chest, and he was way too thick in the waist to be Inuyasha. But I let my mind have its way and fool me right into believing he was._

"_Kagome…"_

"_In—In…Inuyasha…"_

Sometime during the ride back to my place after his "surprise" bash, I recalled Hojo asking me who this "Inuwasha" person was. I'd flashed him an even look and watched him drive with the same, imperious poise that he was in when he first picked me up. The ghostly lights of passing cars caressed him with such diligence and welcoming fingers that I felt my breath hitch when the moon formed a light halo around his jet-black head.

"Inuyasha, was someone very special to me," I told him.

He gave me a sidelong glance before returning his attention back onto the road. "For what it's worth," he'd started slowly, still adeptly turning the steering wheel from left to right, "I'm sorry."

_"For what it's worth," I suddenly muttered, still feeling that unusual sensation that crossed between pity and guilt, "I'm sorry."_

"Kagome-chan? You okay?"

It took me a moment to answer since I was still partially trapped in a trance. "Y—yeah," I stammered.

I squinted my eyes to spot the tiny dust particles fluttering around through the beam of moonlight. "Is he here?" I asked softly.

"Who?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eri frown in confusion.

"H—Hojo," I said flatly.

Silence rang throughout the air for several seconds.

"Is there something going on between the both of you that I should know about?" Eri suddenly asked.

I closed my eyes, debating with the strong presence inside me that wanted to tell her, "Yes, there is! I had sex with him because I mistook him for Inuyasha, and now we're stuck in this sexually frustrated feud that will probably send me straight into the nuthouse."

But I didn't want to tell her that. There was a good chance that she wouldn't understand the situation anyway.

"Not really," I lied.

Eri was silent for a while and I could feel her gaze settling on the side of my neck, like heat waves kissing my cold flesh. Yet I didn't say a word, even when the door to my room creaked open and I heard Hojo's voice wracking against the walls of my mind.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah," Eri answered uncertainly.

"I bought some Sprite for you. And a bag of chips and a drink for…Kagome."

"Can she even eat that kind of stuff right now?"

"Yeah. It's just a bump on the head. Caffeine and sodium won't affect it."

I heard him set the plastic bottle and the small bag of chips down on the bedside table. I turned my head slowly to look at him, brown fastening heavily on brown. My heart was hammering roughly against my chest as I studied his hair and how it now brushed the squared peaks of his shoulders, frolicking with the fine ends of my desires. My gaze swooped down suddenly to take in his entire figure while he stood tall like some kind of soldier who was denied his freedom to move even a solitary inch. But then I took in those large hands of his, thick fingers jutting out and clenching briefly.

The same fingers that touched me in places that I never thought I'd allow Hojo to touch.

I quickly squeezed my eyes shut and turned the other cheek, trying desperately to hide the red warmth rising in my cheeks. Hojo did the same, and I got a good glimpse of Eri as she flashed both of us unusual looks.

"Eri…" I whispered, nearly wincing at the feebleness wrapped around my voice like a soggy burrito. It almost felt like I was old while I lied there on that hospital bed like a crumpled sack of potatoes.

Crap.

"Yeah?"

"Could you—" I couldn't control the intensity of the blush as it grew even warmer and more intolerable, "—could you please leave us alone for a moment."

I watched Eri as she let the pregnant silence overpower her for a moment. Her voice was strong and steady when she finally managed an answer, "Yeah. Sure."

Eri's shoes clicked evenly along the linoleum. She opened the door and closed it gently behind her as she stepped outside. When she left, Hojo let out what sounded close to a relieving sigh as he plunked down into one of the chairs sitting alongside the nightstand. Looking at his half-slack, half-tense form, I began to compare countless questions in my head, easily eliminating those that wouldn't help to lighten the situation any.

"Are you okay?"

Startled, I tried to make what could've been identified as stable eye contact with him, but failed miserably when I squirmed around in an effort to make myself more comfortable on the hospital bed. The railings running down beside me like jail bars pilfering the long sought-after treasure of liberation, were a pain in the butt. I had to prop myself up just to make decent eye contact, if ever such a thing was possible concerning the threatening whirlpool I managed to stumble into.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I replied, "but my well-being's not the only thing on my mind."

A heavy hush settled over Hojo, an obvious indication for me to continue.

"But, before I start speaking my mind," I started, "who was that girl?"

"Kasumi?" he said slowly, seemingly afraid to make a dreadful slip of the tongue, "She's just a student that I coach back at HGH."

I could feel the sarcasm rising up in my throat like flam as I spoke, "Really." I tried to keep it from becoming an unnecessary part of the situation, but it persistently wormed its way in.

"I'm sorry, Higurashi," Hojo began, his voice dripping with ill-retained venom, "but my pragmatic affairs require none of your concern." He tried to hide what was skin-ripping acrimony beneath a businesslike veil, but I could already see right through it.

I sighed. True, it was none of my business and curiosity got the best of me, but I didn't want to get into an inessential fight with him over a "student" no matter how much I doubted him. I needed to get down to the bottom-line, which just now decided to go taciturn on me.

"I'm sorry. I was just…curious." I let my head sink further into the flimsy, hospital pillow, the bed groaning slightly. The IV in my arm was a bit of an inconvenience since I had to squirm around several times in order to come to a more comfortable position. And the pain drilling a hole through my head was something that I just couldn't dispel, so I picked up trying to stomach it rather than whimper it out, "But I really wanted to talk to you about…the night we…"

Hojo looked up then and I could see the alertness burning in his eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you about Monday night."

"The night we…"

"Yeah."

"Kagome I…"

"Hojo it was a mistake," I blurted out.

"What?"

"It was a really big mistake that shouldn't have happened. That was what I was trying to tell you before you left."

I twisted my neck to face the window and studied the moonlight running along its frames in a perfect square. It strangely felt like a ghost was watching me from outside, stubbornly refusing to come in. I almost waited for the window to slam outwards and a gush of cool air to slap me full in the face as it blew all sorts of stuff around in a small tornado. But nothing like that ever came.

"Kagome, I was waiting for a night like that with you."

There. He said it. Those words that I knew would come tumbling out of his mouth sooner or later. Damn it all! Why couldn't he be like Inuyasha and just not spill out his feelings like that?

I moved around to face him. "So you were actually waiting for a night when I'd sweep you off your feet and into my bed and start making love to you while screaming out some other guy's name that you've never even remotely heard of before!" I half-screamed, half-asked.

He was quiet for a moment, and for the first time in all my life I felt like I'd won a huge battle against Naraku all by myself. No Miroku. No Sango or Kirara. No Shippo. And definitely no Inuyasha.

"Not really," Hojo answered lamely.

I was on the verge of pulling off a gawk that would've made me look somewhere between dumbfounded and dim-witted.

He sighed heavily. "Kagome, you sparked something within me that night, something that I'll never forget.

Okay. Here I was, lying in bed, probably flaunting off some new epitome of ugly or chaotic. I knew my hair looked like it needed a good combing down and that my face probably looked unsightly with bags hanging morosely from my eyes. How could he even sit there and say something like that with me looking like the monster from the Green Lagoon?

"What could I have possibly sparked within you, Hojo? I—," I gulped, taking some time out to mull over the harsh milieu of the word I was about to use, "I…**fucked** you, Hojo. I literally fucked you and used you for my own gain and nothing more."

"But you can't honestly say you don't hold any feelings for me now, Kagome."

"Actually, I can," I huffed ignorantly, smugly. I saw the disbelief in his eyes and began to await the inevitable.

"Then tell me that you harbor no feelings for me whatsoever. If you can do that, then I guess intercourse between us was nothing but a figment."

I held my chin high with that so-called "Miss Independent" superiority, "I—I…don't…harbor any feelings for…for…" I paused when I saw his eyes, those heartrending orbs of his. Yeah, they were coffee brown in a way and not anywhere close to Inuyasha's amber orbs. But they held that same kind of passion, if ever possible, and truth and sovereignty that swirled around within Inuyasha's eyes when he was in his human form.

I felt my whole expression crumble and my shoulders fall slack, "I—I don't harbor any feelings for…for…for y—y…"

Hojo gulped and his eyes fell shut as he weaved his fingers together in his lap.

Surrender seemed so close, just hovering beneath the surface. I didn't want to admit that, but something within me decided otherwise, "Hojo, I can't. I could never say such a thing because, frankly, dishonesty isn't my cup of tea."

A tiny smile tugged at both his lips and mine.

"Kagome, I tried my best to ask you out on so many dates during high school because I had a huge crush on you."

"Yeah, I know."

"But I never felt anything like this before." He got up and I tried my best to inch away from the railing, "Kagome…"

I shook my head, "Hojo, no."

He strode towards the bed, towards me, and stretched out his hand to touch my cheek and gently turn my head further to him.

Instinctively, I licked my lips.

"Kagome," he said tenderly, huskily, "I think I may actually love you."

"And how is that?" I asked, "Was seeing me naked enough for you to have a run-in with good old Mr. Enlightenment?"

He huffed and bowed his head until I felt his warm breath settle on my nose. Quickly, I grasped the fabric of his dress shirt with intentions of pushing him away, "Hojo, don't."

"Why?" he breathed, "I just want to—," he got closer, "kiss you."

"Hojo…" And that was all I could say before his lips embraced mine in what first started out as a chaste kiss and then a kiss of win-or-lose when I felt his tongue boldly touch mine.

Hojo groaned softly into my mouth and I heard the railing clack when his free hand bumped into it. I was also very close to moaning with his good-smelling cologne drifting up my nostrils like some new form of spicy aphrodisiac and causing a powerful lurch of desire make itself known in the pit of my belly. But then the door opened and a sharp gasp brushed against my eardrums. Impulsively, I shoved Hojo away and turned to face the window, fully flushed. "It—It isn't what you think," I quickly mumbled as Eri click-clacked into the room.

"Really?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her flash a suspicious glance at Hojo as she took a swig of her Sprite.

I gulped nervously, hoping she would just walk out of the room repeating over and over again that she truly didn't see anything. Yet, when she finally did say something, I gasped in shock and let all hopes of forgive-and-forget go flying straight out the window.

"It's a good thing that Yuka gave him your number now, isn't it?"

_iii. _**The Unexpected**

The sun was gleaming brilliantly through the window as I put whatever was left of the snack that Hojo bought for me last night in the metal, lavatory waste bucket. I smiled triumphantly at my reflection in the mirror, very much glad that the doctor finally chose to let me out today after continually hassling him about feeling better and wanting to go home.

_Thank,_ _**God**!_

I still couldn't buck off the wondrous volumes of curiosity still clinging to my body in more uncomfortable ways than one. While Hojo's stares continued to scorch a hole straight through the side of my skull, I desperately wanted to know what happened to my poor Cavalier after I was shipped off unexpectedly to the hospital. Eri, however, finally spoke up once she finished off the last corner of her Sprite with a dim, slightly drunken leer, "Oh, and Kagome-chan, in case you're wondering, Hojo drove your car back to your place."

"Why?" I'd asked.

"Because the doctor thought it best that somebody else drives you back home instead."

"Damn."

At daybreak, I called Eri and asked her to drop by my condo and grab the sports bag full of clean clothes, lingerie, and tennis shoes lying in the trunk of my car so that I would have something to change into come later on. She didn't feel like driving the car down to the hospital because she had a long drive ahead of her to make it back down to Tokyo. So I calmly informed her that there should've been a copy of my car key under the welcome mat at the front door and that it was imperative she stow the key away back under there after she was done—After all, I have a **real **problem when it comes to searching for stuff.

I waited earnestly for her answer and it wasn't long before she groggily (or is that crankily) plucked up enough awareness to mumble a brief, "Okay."

Shortly, I realized that she only agreed because she didn't have to go through the troubles of playing hide-and-go-seek with my car keys, since my original set were with her…mistakenly nestled in the jeans she wore yesterday.

I don't even know why or when I started packing such a thing as a sports bag full of clothes in my trunk. Maybe I did it just to be prepared, just like with all the other people in the world who packed guns or toiletry bags in theirs. I mean, being prepared wasn't necessarily a crime now, was it?

I grumbled angrily beneath my breath as I tried to make my hair more presentable in front of the bathroom mirror and beneath its very poor lighting. After I was done, I frisked and frantically searched the pockets of my old jeans for both my house and car keys. With that infuriating chore now completed, I crammed the keys in the incredibly tight, right pocket of the denims I was currently wearing before packing my dirty clothes in my bulky sports bag and starting downstairs for the main desk.

After I paid my insurance deductibles, among other things, I made my way outside to the parking lot.

Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka were all waiting in Eri's old Mustang convertible when I made it to the parking strip; I'd forgotten completely that Eri volunteered to pick me up.

Eri was drumming her fingers to an offbeat melody when I got to the car. Without saying a word, she popped the trunk and I placed the bag inside before pulling the top back down.

"Hi, Kagome-chan," both Ayumi and Yuka greeted in unison.

"Good morning."

There were no secretive smiles or giggles when I slid in on the passenger's side next to Eri. It was pretty obvious that she didn't tell them about last night and for that I was internally grateful.

I exchanged a brief smile with her before she started the car and began to pull out of the parking spot and onto the road. I wanted to say something about her hair and clothing style today, but opted not to.

Her hair wasn't bound back by a yellow hair band today. It was free, whipping back in the wind like the silky mane of a horse. And it was black, so very black in the sunlight. And she was wearing that sinful, purely seductive, red-red lipstick that many mothers would've said was _Hell on a Stick_. Her dress was black and strapless, leaving much to the imagination of any man that just happened to bump into her. But her black Stiletto heels were what really got me. They weren't the type of shoes you'd wear in the very early morning.

I guess Yuka caught me staring because she said, "Eri's supposed to be visiting her family back down in Tokyo. Rumors say that she has a little boyfriend down there waiting for her."

"Ahh. So that explains why she's all dressed up," I murmured.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Eri exclaimed, and I didn't try to argue otherwise, "We're just friends. And I happen to be all dressed up because I love dressing up."

"Really?" Ayumi looked flabbergasted, "But you called Yuka and I earlier today saying that you were going somewhere special with him today and that you probably wouldn't be able to pick up Kagome."

"Ayumi!" Eri growled.

I tried to make a quiet gesture with my index finger against my lips to the girls in back, hoping that that would settle things down a bit as the car clambered up onto the highway. Getting into a car accident was a definite no-no in my book since it was pretty avoidable and I was just too young to die.

_Hmmm. Too young to die_, I pondered, _Strange. That didn't seem to stop me before from going ahead and joining Inuyasha on those death-defying escapades._

Most of the journey home was entirely uneventful. Ayumi didn't say a word, just kept her cheek turned to the flow of the nipping wind as she watched countless cars swish by. But Eri was trying her hardest to stir up some conversation, most of which only lasted for ten minutes at the most until they struck rock-bottom. During the ride though, I kept on brooding over one of the things Yuka had brought up.

"_So, since we already know Eri has a boyfriend," Yuka started, "what about you Ayumi."_

_Ayumi nearly toppled out of her seat when she heard her name, "Huh! Oh, me? Well…I've had quiet an adequate share of boyfriends if I do say so myself."_

_Eri, Yuka, and I all tossed Ayumi shocked looks until she broke out into a nervous smile._

"_Well it's true," she said._

_Yuka sighed and just as I'd predicted, her gaze immediately fell on me. "What about you, Kagome?" she asked, "Hopefully your boyfriend isn't as bad as the last one."_

_I quickly turned my head around to face the windshield, crossing my arms over the seatbelt crisscrossing snugly across my chest, "Who even said that I had a boyfriend to begin with."_

_Yuka fell silent but eventually replied, "It's pretty evident. You don't look all that sad anymore after that badass dumped you."_

"_Yuka, maybe I've come to realize that…that it was all for the best," I muttered, and felt my words linger in the air. Like a white lie it stuck to my mind and echoed over and over again within its chambers._

_Yuka leaned back in her seat and began to relax, slowly engulfed by the contentment of the ride. After that, she didn't say another word._

I propped my elbow up onto the door panel and rested my head on top of my knuckles. Eri was still driving and the last exit we passed clearly told me that we had several more exits to go until I was home free. But I let that thought slowly drift away along the boundless, black plains of nothingness until I staggered heavily over the precipice that defined consciousness from unconsciousness.

_Inuyasha._

_I knew it had to be him as his power pulled flush against my body in a wash of warmth, pushing through my skin and frolicking with my own sacred aura. I was like the wick on a candle, slowly bending into the heart of a passionate flame, but even as I felt my knees grow wobbly I continued to walk towards him. Before I even arrived to the hot spring's, lopsided embankment, he paused and wheeled around to face me. His eyes fixed sharply on me and began to burn a hole straight through my skin, propelling me to stop in my tracks. My fingers tingled from exhaustion, from pressing lust and desire, and the blanket fell to the ground._

"_I want you," I mouthed to him as if it were some sort magic word that would allow me into a place so wonderful, so magical._

_He didn't say a word, just went back to wading through the water and settling down near a large rock jutting out of the center of the water. I watched his back slump heavily against it and I took a sharp intake of breath as I saw the moonbeams dance across his glossy, silver hair and then drop down to kiss his pallid muscles._

"_Then come to me," he suddenly mouthed._

_My lips parted beneath the soothing warmth of the hot spring as I stepped in. I waded deeper and deeper into the water until the temperature mounted steadily, curling around me with perceivable, white fingers. They caressed me, caused me to sweat and finally stumble into the water-slick arms of Inuyasha. When I looked up, his eyes entranced me to where my mind went completely blank. I put my hands against his chest, unaware that I'd called forth my sacred energy, which rippled through my veins and tingled against my palms._

_Inuyasha hissed suddenly and seized both of my hands in his larger ones to peel them off of his chest._

_Demonic and sacred auras truly don't mix well together. That counted even if the demon itself wasn't even all the way demonic._

"_Sorry, Inuyasha," I apologized, then smiled lightly, "I really need to control that, don't I?" _

_Strange, I thought._

_His smile seemed like an exact mirror image of mine as his grip on my hands loosened. Tenderly he cupped my cheek with his clawed hand and his thumb began to stroke it even when my own hand overlapped his._

"_You know I love you, right?" he inquired abruptly._

"_Yeah," I sighed, brushing my lips against his palm._

_The wind murmured against my skin and the water rippled gently around our bodies. Following the elegant curves of Inuyasha's lips, I gulped deeply and half-wished to have those same lips seizing mine in a fiery kiss._

_I blushed, bowing my head._

"_Hey, don't do that!" I felt him grip my chin and pull my face up to meet his eyes. His thumb grazed my bottom lip gingerly and I sensed the pressure of my blush grow even more intense. I wanted to bite the inside of my cheeks just to alleviate the pain, but couldn't find the courage to do so. I would've ruined the mood anyway by looking like some kind of poor excuse for a fish._

"_You okay, Kagome?" A veil of concern lashed forth into the air, covering Inuyasha in an imaginary tent it seemed._

_I waved off the question with a nervous flap of my hand and broke out into a brief smile, "Yeah, I'm just fine. It's just that…"_

_Without warning, a prickle of claws crept up my left thigh and fingers clutched gently, coaxing my leg to wrap around Inuyasha's waist. I felt him hard and ready against me and I gasped and blushed harder and harder until I was sure I looked like a boiling lobster._

"_Inuyasha…" I started, but his lips roughly grasped mine and my words soon deteriorated into a dreamy sigh._

_His mouth hovered closely above mine when he finally broke the kiss. A claw carefully brushed the moist inside of my thigh, trailing lazily upwards. The urge to kiss him then became so strong that I wrapped my arms around his neck, hiking my other leg up and curling it around his waist. I locked my ankles securely behind his back and heard him moan as he tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth and my fingers tangled ravenously in his hair._

"_Do you actually think he wants you, young priestess?" Someone—a woman, I quickly deduced—snidely asked from a distance._

_I wanted to believe, I truly did, that that voice was just my mind playing tricks on me, but something inside me kept persuading me that it was indeed real._

_Inuyasha's lips were fastened to the crook of my neck when I made an attempt to twist my neck around to face the bank. I whimpered when he began to suckle and one of his fangs grazed my skin. Closing my eyes, I tossed my head back, smoothed my hands up his chest, and felt my legs tighten in anticipation. My heart was beating fast, matching the rushing flow of my blood and eventually pounding in my ears. Several seconds later, I tried for a more comfortable position, writhing in the wet, rosy ring of his embrace. But, just as I'd suspected, he growled in my ear and made a sharp sound that sounded close to a doggish bark._

_That was certainly the first._

"_Inuyasha," I strained, "what are you doing?"_

_He didn't answer the question, just nipped my ear. I groaned and he leaned back to kiss me brusquely as the finger stationed on the inside of my thigh slowly trailed upwards through the steamy water until it was rubbing against me._

_I severed the kiss to whisper his name against his lips, holding myself steady by grabbing his shoulders. His lips stayed close above mine, so close that a sharp breath would've made us touch. He spoke, his breath adding onto the heat that cradled my skin just as he caressed the edge of me, "Gods, you're beautiful."_

_I wanted to smile, but two things happened all at once; he kissed me and his finger slid inside me. I screamed against his mouth, back arching, fingernails digging into his shoulder as his finger found that special spot and brought me at dizzying heights. From up there, the world had soft, white edges, like seeing through gauze, like peering through a cloud even._

"_He doesn't want just you," the same woman from before whispered, this time inside my head._

_I gasped. An image of Kikyo flashed briefly behind my eyes and her power was pulsing through me, entwining insatiably with mine. I saw another visual of her forcing Inuyasha onto his back on the grass, of kissing down his naked chest, down the fine line of silver, peach fuzz until the next thing I remembered clearly was groaning into the shallow concave of Inuyasha's neck._

"_He wants both of us…"_

"_Kikyo," I heard him moan as his thrusts became fast and uncontrollable._

_My jaw dropped loosely. I made an attempt to push him away, but he held fast and I could only whimper pathetically, trying my best to call forth my sacred power, which never came._

"_INUYASHA!" I hollered, "INUYASHA, STOP!"_

_The moon seemed to smile wickedly…maniacally. When Inuyasha's face came into my line of vision, I wanted to scream, to shock him just like Kikyo had done when she was first resurrected by Urasue as a clay replica._

_His eyes were red, so red, and certainly not the color of wild passion, but…blood. His lips were twisted into a malicious smile as he pulled his finger from inside me and drew it into his mouth. I watched the claws on his other fingers elongate slowly. He suckled his finger and his smile grew sickeningly broader._

"_Maybe this'll be better than the first, eh Kagome?" he asked me, drawing his finger out of his mouth, "Maybe this time I can do things to you beyond your wildest imagination."_

_I screamed out in horror and quickly lashed out, viscously hurling a barrage of punches at his chest only to have the hand behind me tighten its hold on my back. He entered me then and my head rolled back as he stretched me to limits that I thought no normal human could reach._

_He grunted as his hips slammed into mine._

_Looking up at the lustrous moon and the ink-black skies that embraced it, I gave a bloodcurdling cry._

_iv. _**Reunited**

"Kagome-chan…"

Somebody was jostling me manically by the shoulder. Oddly enough, some small part of me wanted them to shake harder until I fully regained consciousness, but then came its iniquitous counterpart, which I was so ready to believe was Kikyo.

"Kagome-chan, wake up. We're here."

I groaned softly. My nose felt faintly stuffy when I finally aroused to the pleasant smile of the sun. Sadly, the first thing I noticed was a slender line of moisture gradually hiking down the chest of my shirt. Blushing furiously, I jolted to an upright position in the passenger's seat to try and wipe it off.

I frowned darkly during the process. It was still day time, probably somewhere close to noon according to my instincts. I was hardly enthusiastic to waking up to the sunlight beaming down on me and shining brightly in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" Eri wasn't sitting in the driver's seat anymore, but standing tall right alongside me.

"Nothing." I gave a jaw-cracking yawn before wiping off the last bit of drool on my shirt. I spared a glance at the rearview mirror hanging just above my head. Both Yuka and Ayumi were still sitting in the back, fast asleep.

"They nodded off sometime back on the highway," Eri murmured.

With a sigh, I opened the door to get out and stretch. Yeah, the sun may've been shining in my eyes, but the weather felt so relaxing. It was lukewarm—not all the way cool, but definitely not hot either.

"Oh, and here's your key." Eri reached over to pick up the shiny thing resting on the hood of her car and handed it to me.

I took the key and twirled it around once by its pudgy body with my forefinger and thumb, eyes observing it numbly before I stuffed it in my pocket. I was just a mere thread away from hissing out in pain when I slid my hand back out and the distinctly rough material of my denims nearly bruised my hand. That didn't keep me, however, from relishing in the breeze that swept around me for a slick-quick second before trudging over to the trunk, which was already cracked open. I grabbed my things, careful not to wake up Yuka and Ayumi as I wrenched the door shut.

"Take care!" Eri waved goodbye and so I did the same before she rounded the car to get in. I stood on the third-from-last step near the driveway and watched her maneuver out of the parking lot and onto the main street, a red dot dwindling away slowly in the distance. Turning around when I was completely certain she was gone, I started for the door.

When I got there, I patted the right pocket of my jeans, thankful to feel the slight bulge of the tiny mass of keys poking at my thigh. Digging my hand inside to grab my house key, I juggled it inside the lock and opened the door. Stepping inside, I closed and locked the door behind me before journeying upstairs to my somewhat capacious heaven on Earth, my bedroom, where I couldn't wait to envelop myself in my bed sheets and sink into a deep sleep that was sure to last for centuries.

"God, I'm so—" My words died hopelessly on my tongue, captured by the net of emptiness hanging in the air when I arrived at the bedroom's doorway. My sports bag immediately crumpled to the floor when I felt my fingers tingle and my hands fall abruptly to my sides. My eyes grew wide and my lips parted. Time seemed to stop and my heartbeats were caught in hyper drive, pushing maybe at five beats per second.

Courageous amber and delicate brown.

At long last reunited.

Extraordinary silver locks and thick, raven strands.

At long last reunited.

_"Inuyasha…" I muttered, my voice heavy and nearly incoherent beneath the waves of heart-wrenching anguish and unfulfilled desire. I wanted him to just slap the jewel out of my hand and scoop me up within those protective arms of his, shedding reassuring warmth, embracing me with a raw passion that needed to be acted out rather than just spoken._

_Is that really you?_ I asked.

"In—Inuyasha?"

A/N: Next chapter is "Stowaway." Hmmm…I wonder if the figure truly is Inuyasha…


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